If I am ever whiny, cranky, or complaining about my lot in life, I should remember Tammy and how, despite everything that she has faced, she has come through--tired and a bit bruised, but with two lovely and loving children; higher college degrees, a position of respect, responsibility, and authority; humor and dignity; and hopefully, a better sense of her self-worth.
Her photo should appear in the dictionary next to the words:
triumphant /tri-um-phant/
adjective:
1. Having won a battle or contest; victorious.
2. Feeling or expressing jubilation after having won a victory or mastered a difficulty.
heroic /he-ro-ik/
adjective:
1. having the characteristics of a hero or heroine; very brave.
Fanatic /fuh-nat-ik/
noun:
1. a person with an extreme and uncritical enthusiasm or zeal, as in religion or politics or a particular popular hair band from New Jersey.
Tammy is such a super fan of Bon Jovi that a) she originally requested that this be posted on Jon Bon Jovi's 50th birthday (sorry Tammy -- you were too late!) and b) she usually drops some quote, lyric, or reference into just about anything.
I'd think this was weird, except I have my own fanaticism (see any and all a-ha posts) and I've known her a very long time.
Tammy honey, I am so proud of you, for so many things. Keep breathing. Remember to take some time for yourself once in a while. Remember, so many people are here for you and have your back. You just have to stop and let us be there for YOU every so often.
This is how the dictionary defines FRIEND:
Friend (noun)
(1) Somebody emotionally close – somebody who trusts and is fond of another, (2) Acquaintance – somebody who thinks well of or is on good terms with somebody else, (3) Ally – an ally, or somebody who is not an enemy, (4) Advocate of cause – a defender or supporter of a cause, group, or principle, (5) Patron – a patron of a charity or institutions, (6) A contact on a social marketing website.
And beside the definition is where a picture of Auntie Nettie should appear!
Auntie Nettie and I met my freshman year of college – in choir practice – where she routinely beat on me. As a junior, it was kind of her responsibility. Then she became a senior, graduated, and went on to the ‘real world,’ never to be heard from again, or so I thought. At the end of the summer just before my senior year started, I received a voice message from her. She said she knew of an entry level position at a music organization she worked for, would I be interested, and oh, by the way, you’d be working for the “devil*.” I applied, was offered the position, and accepted. We worked there together for 10 years.
During those years, she taught me how to use a fax machine, was the first person I called when I needed a word for whatever document I was working on, took me shopping for my wedding dress, crafted the most lovely party favors, was there for the birth of my two children (made them the most beautiful baby blankets and Christmas stockings), and stood beside me, hugged me, and let me cry when my marriage fell apart – and gave me chocolate chip oatmeal cookies!
We don’t talk every day, in fact sometimes we don’t talk for months. She knows I’m the worst at keeping in touch, but she goes out of her way to make sure we schedule a date together and plan something that is fun for the kids (a trip to the Botanical Gardens, skating at Bryant Park). And that is what makes Auntie Nettie the definition of a friend. Days or months can pass and when we do connect, it’s as if no time has elapsed. The conversation picks up right where it left off. She’s someone you can trust with your secrets, she always has your back, stands by her principles, and she has given her life to every charity she’s touched. On top of all that, she is a witty, crafty, intelligent, beautiful person that knows it’s the tiniest details that make the biggest impact.
Thank you for asking me to write this, even though you know I hate to write (and have procrastinated all but the last few hours of the 188 days notice you gave me). I’ve enjoyed the trip down memory lane and it’s made me realize more than ever that the best is still to come. So, my FRIEND, as you move on to your next chapter give some thought to my favorite equation:
PASSION + PERSEVERANCE = POSSIBILITIES (JBJ)
Happy Birthday and Hugs,
Tammy
*The "devil" is a very nice man who had anger-management issues at the time that Tammy was looking for work. He has since "mellowed," and/or my threshold for "devilry" has changed, and/or I have my own anger-management and "issues" so his don't seem so bad in retrospect. (And yes, I know I'm using the quotes "ironically.")
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