Happy (70th) Birthday, Grandmary!

With love from family, friends, and friends who are family, a collaboratively concocted, designed, and coordinated memorial piece of artwork to say how much we love you on this very important birthday!

Now that the secret is out, we're going to share with the world!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Love you Mom!

40 Diamonds for 40: Cyn Slips In Under the Wire

About 14 months ago I reached out to a host of friends and family for input into what truly was a vanity project intended to help me over the hump of the year of turning the big 4-0. I was, and am still, amazed by the responses, the submissions, the photos, the reminiscences, and oh, the FEELZZZZZ.

If you are counting, and I'm not ... really, I didn't get 40 responses. But if we are going to take this 40 Diamonds for 40 allusion all the way to the end, it doesn't matter the size or number of the diamonds, it's that you have any diamonds at all. Sometimes it's important to remember that, and, when the February funk suddenly sneaks up on you and brings you crashing down at a glance at the calendar, it's good to have friends in reserve to slip in a shiny happy moment, just under the wire.

Friends like Cynthia. Cynthia, my Big J co-hort; the apple/pumpkin picking party planner; she of car rides home in the wee small hours; my conspirator at work and life/office gossiper, excuse me we have "discussions"; documenter of the unobtainable TV-star silly-girl goofiness; she who has the back-stage access to special events aka OMH OMH it's STINNNNNNNG! moments; her, down in the trenches; understander of goofiness; the friend who made me a Friend of a Friend of Ellen; and who is as camera shy as me, unless it comes to certain fitness gurus or opera stars; and who likes me despite the fact that I loathe and despise opera; and the fellow Baker in the literal and figurative senses of the word.

Thanks, my friend. How did you know that I needed a boost today? (Just under the wire ...)

To My Dear Friend [Auntie Nettie],

On this, the last night of your fortieth year celebration, I am finally submitting what I hope is a small gem in your 40 Diamond birthday tiara. If someone else has had this same idea, then forgive the redundancy, and bask in the fond reflections that bounce off of those who love you.

So for my part, I offer you 40 carats that describe a most wonderful diamond ~ [Auntie Nettie] 

auntie, beautiful, caring, companion, cook, crafty, daughter, dependable, diligent, fair, 
faithful, foodie, forgiving, friend, fun, generous, gentle, giving, honest, humble, intelligent, kind, 

librarian, loving,  organized, patient, photographer, playful, professional, sharing, sister, steadfast, strong, supportive, trustworthy, understanding, wise, witty, wordsmith, 

 and, to cover all of the things I might have missed, 

 supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

40 Diamonds for 40: Amelia Amazes at Avalon

What can I say about Ms. Amelia? From naive mold-able inexperience young college graduate who survived the world's longest, most harrowing first interview experience, to new employee in need of much guidance in terms of basic functionality (i.e. learning how to do her own mail, helping her refine her conversational styles through applied use of flying objects and the $.05-$1.00 fine jar to extract certain terms from common usage), to a young woman about town, one Upper East Side-dwelling employee of a hedge fund--she certainly has come a long way "baybeeee!"

As she has wended her way these last six years, she's also become a source of much amuse-and amaze-ment. I can say that I know more about Ms. Amelia than I ever thought I would--most unfortunately, in some cases. While some things shall remain secluded under the mantle of the "game name" oath, and the "what happens on a roadtrip, remains on the roadtrip" mentality is a good way of leaving things way off-the-record, others are okay to share.

She is a Billy Joel-stalking, jazz-loving, "Wait-What?" young lady who is generous in sharing with with good friends and family. Don't cross her -- even though she'll give you far too many opportunities, you don't want to get the dreaded "BUHYEEE!" She's sneaky too. Even though a few of us have jokingly said that her current employer owes some of us a kick-back for getting them the Amelia they have presently, the karmic balance is more than even now. It was due to Amelia's wonderful generosity that the Avalon house was secured for our recent get-away. Her family had been vacationing there for more than 60 years, and she was excited to share it with us, and to bring her mom and grandmother to experience Avalon with her and her friends.

Thanks sweetie, for the escape and the wonderful birthday card with this message, and your many gifts!

Avalon, New Jersey Girls Weekend: March 23-26, 2012 - featuring Amelia, Christine, Alithia, Amelia's mom Ms. Debbie, Amelia's grammy Ms. Joyce, and Amelia's many many faces.

May 23, 2006: “Thank you for your interest in applying for the position of Development Assistant at Caramoor…”

I guess you could say this is the earliest memory I have of you … literally. Although, my mom and I like to reminisce about the day before I started at Caramoor, when we decided to do a test drive from my new apartment in Danbury to Katonah. We had driven through the grounds and were exiting through the back gate and there you were coming towards us … in the van. I think I quickly told my mom to duck – I didn’t want anyone to recognize me and wonder what the heck I was doing there a day early.

And so it began. My new office at my first real job – and you were my “roommate.” How lucky was I? How frightened were you? (Yeah – that’s probably more like it.)

I quickly grew to admire you and truly look up to you. You taught me what it meant to work hard, how important it was to be diligent and careful, and – of course – how to lose the “dude*” in my vocabulary. Mostly though – you put a silly twist on almost everything and we laughed – a lot. I knew we’d be friends forever. My only wish is that we had gotten to work together longer, but you were off to better yourself at the Big J. We couldn’t ever completely get rid of you and – really – thank goodness for that. Whether it was your annual tax appointment in Mount Kisco, one of our infamous game nights, or a girls’ getaway weekend to Newport or the Cape (and now, Avalon), we had plenty of excuses to still see each other.

To say that you’re one of the best people that I’ve ever known would only be an understatement. You are a giver in the truest sense. You give so much of your time, your talents and your kindness, never expecting anything in return. I probably don’t thank you enough and tell you just how much I appreciate you, but I hope you know nothing ever goes unnoticed. I feel like the lucky one, though, having such strong, amazing, independent women in my life. You know so much about lots of different things. I admire your writing, your [crafting], and – most of all – your baking.

So [Auntie Nettie], happy, happy, happy birthday to YOU! I hope this entire year brings you great health, some amazing memoires and exciting opportunities. I only hope Shushing is ready for the ride ….

With all my love,
Amelia xoxoxoxo

*I know where that "dude" went - to my vocabulary. Hopefully none of your other words leaks over into my life! Okay, Amelia?

40 Diamonds for 40: Winding Down Memory Lane with Wendy

Besides my friend Jenn, "brother" Dan, and my relatives, one of the other people that I've known for the longest amount of time is my friend Wendy. Wendy and her youngest child Ms. Emily have been featured on this blog before, when they've visited NY and I've gone back up to CT.

It's a wonderful thing to have friendships that have survived the test of time, teens, tempestuous relationships, and have transcended periods of time with little to no communications. It's a scarey thing, however, when they have the photographic documentation and/or other evidence of the past that might, or might not, be incriminating. Being "preacher's kids" means that what might not seem incriminating to others is almost scandalous for us. Also, being "mature" examples to the next generation means that only we can know the details of our deep "dark" secrets.

From church halls, church grounds when we played "hookey" from classes, church dances, church camps, to being attendant at her first wedding (my first time as maid of horror/honor), to phone calls from Connecticut and Utah to discuss parents, siblings, and/or the "current state of affairs", and now New York visits with and without kids and spouses -- it doesn't seem like it's been almost 30 years.

Perhaps now, with pictures* and dates, Ms. Emily will FINALLY get that her crazy mom and I have actually know each other since before we were her age.

Thanks Ms. Wend. See you in NYC soon. We'll "tawlk!"

Flashback to 1986

Having dads of authority at church tends to draw kids together. It also makes you wish that maybe you aren’t such a goody-two-shoes in the eyes of the rest of the kids. Unfortunately what I can find for photos doesn’t help our case.

This is July 4th 1986 at a church picnic with our families. Nope, no trouble here.

How about girls camp that same year? Yet again just some good friends hanging out. I am glad we always had each other.

Now in the process of looking for photos my kids have discovered two things. I couldn’t spell back then and maybe I should be reported to hoarders for the odd things I have saved over the years. But I think I must have just known back then I would need something corny for this particular reason.

Yes, going to the mall and out for pizza was a big deal for me because if it didn’t have to do with school or church we didn’t really go anywhere. To me, Auntie Nettie, you were hip and happening since you would go off to New York City and other adventures.

Flashforward to 2011-201?:

*It was the 1980s. Be nice. Also, apparently my new 'do isn't as radical as I thought. What's old is new again.

40 Diamonds for 40: Honorary Aunt Diana

Even little notes from people claiming to have nothing new or special to add to the 40 Diamonds at 40 project often reveal little fun and interesting connections.

"Aunt" Diana was one of my mother's college roommates, and one of my first role models for aunt-hood. Mom was an only child, and I can't remember there ever being a time when we didn't call Aunt Diana "aunt." Strangely, none of Mom's other college roommates were ever given this honorific. I remember visits to Ohio to stay with Aunt Diana and Uncle Ralph when we were much younger, and then occasional visitations to CT over the years. Once I got to a certain age, I started to stay in touch with Aunt Diana independent of Mom's communication. Turns out there are shared links -- for many years Aunt Diana was a librarian. In her retirements, she now enjoys crafting and I often get some gorgeous hand-made cards (like the one below).

Most importantly, turns out that my brothers, father and I weren't the only ones to benefit from mom's tendency to wield a mean red pen, to cast a well-honed eye over documents for a stray comma or dangling participle, or to type faster than the speed of light.

Happy Birthday!

- and an apology. I think your 40 diamonds is a wonderful idea. But, I thought and thought and came up BLANK. .... No special memories, certainly no words of wisdom. Fortunately, others have filled in with wonderful contributions. I enjoyed a peek at your blog to see how the project was progressing.

There was a feeling of continuity when I read your friends messages. I was reminded of your mom's and my group of friends of college days. We've been so lucky to stay close after all these years.

Sorry, seems less personal to type, But I've lousy handwriting and cannot spell. I survived college because your Mom typed (and corrected!) my papers.

~ Diana

40 Diamonds for 40: Capers with Christine

Today is a very momentous day. Not only is it Christine's contribution to my 40 Diamonds at 40 project, but today is Christine's special "diamond" birthday as well. It's almost ten years to the month that Ms. Christine wandered into Caramoor, was assigned a desk in a shared office with me, and the merriment began.

Have you ever met someone and they fit in to the group as a whole, and your life in particular, like they were always meant to be there? Their humor, work ethic, ideology, and interests just sync up and it's like you always knew them?

I look back and can't believe it's only been 10 years since I met Christine. I can't believe that I haven't known her longer. I actually think we must have known each prior to this realm of existence, and it took until that fork in our life paths to finally cross. After all this time, we're still learning things about each other and probably will for the next 40 years. When we pass on to the next stage of this crazy cosmic conundrum, I really hope I'm assigned a cloud near hers.

I miss not working in the same place and City with Christine, but it's probably just as well. We used to rock the building with our laughter, to the point where we needed to be separated and certain GMs would bang on the floor to get us to quiet down. Even now, I can call her on the phone and leaves voice message of dubious distinction and cause her to crack up. Conversely, she can call me at the Big J and people down the halls come by to see why I'm laughing so loudly. They say laughter is healing and I think we're saving each other from the ridiculous, the incompetent, the bridezillas, WMD disguised as FMB, and people who are absolutely sure that she is their wedding coordinator.

My friend, I cannot thank you for saving me, tolerating me, humoring me, indulging me, traveling with me, driving me, schleping me, feeding me, housing me, amusing me, dealing with me, working with me, and rescuing me.

But enough about me ... You deserve the best. You are the best. You are wonderful, lovely, delightful, and really a true gem of a friend. You are one of the best diamonds in the whole world. May the sun always shine on you, east of the sun, west of the moon, and at the foot of the mountain.

Happy Birthday! I can't wait to party in Avalon in you. May it be the place of rest and enchantment that it's always been to this English major. Now, are you Arthur and I'm Merlin? Actually, I think you are Gawain.

February 21, 2012

Today is an important date for Auntie Nettie and me (well, at least in my opinion). Today marks 9 years and 11 months since we met at Caramoor. Little did I know that she would be and remain such an important spirit in my professional and personal life. Looking back at our almost 10-year history, I can’t help but chuckle out loud and often. I guess you have to be there for most of our adventures and moments of hilarity that only two friends can understand and instantly recall with just a certain look in the eye or gesture. She became my immediate friend and partner in crime. Such a title doesn’t come without a bit of abuse – I still have scars from all the rubber bands she shot at me while I was on the phone! But the comic relief was necessary when work became too stressful and one wanted to bang their head against a very hard surface. I believe in one of the policy and procedure manuals written by Auntie Nettie, there are specific instructions on where and how to do such a task. And when the going got really tough, she bought me lots and lots of potato chips and Diet Coke (what a temptress!)

It’s best that I don’t go into detail about my feelings of dreadfulness and sadness when Auntie Nettie decided it was time to move on from Caramoor. After the dust settled and Auntie Nettie landed at the Big J., our phone conversations continued as if nothing changed. We made plans – lots of plans – and traded work meetings for road trips! I can’t imagine all the experiences I would have missed out if it wasn’t for Auntie Nettie. My birthday weekend in Newport (the laughter, silliness, braving cold ocean waters in March); all the trips to the Botanical Gardens (the walks, the talks); Montauk escape (Manucci’s seafood stew, climbing to the top of the lighthouse, trying to find the Big Duck); and a couple of trips to Cape Cod (bike riding – which I still think she hasn’t forgiven me for, sand between the toes, dreams of another lifestyle, never wanting to leave). But the most memorable moment for me will always be how my dear Auntie Nettie unknowingly fulfilled a 24-year old dream of mine to see one of my favorite music groups – the Norwegian band a-ha! Every song of the “Ending on a High Note” concert performed by Paul, Mags and Morten still runs through my mind. This concert has forever bonded us. There will be times Auntie Nettie is hundreds of miles away and she will text me “just heard ‘Take On Me’…” Of course during all the adventures, it would be wrong of me not to give a shout-out to the Shushing Librarian who’s been a great companion on many of our trips, including ‘rushing the stage’ and getting quite friendly with one of the bouncers at the a-ha concert. Aw, the memories!

I hope that Auntie Nettie and I continue to plan many adventures during the next 40+ years. My travel partner she will forever be. I also hope she is loves her birthday present, which of course is another trip! Here are some of my favorite photos from the times we’ve shared together (which I hope she doesn’t delete!) Auntie Nettie, I love you and wish the absolute best birthday!

(Auntie Nettie says, don't make me stab you with this crochet hook

or I will strangle you with this yarn!)

A very happy girl getting ready to see a-ha!Embracing life on the Cape

Doing her thing at the Botanical Gardens

If Auntie Nettie had a Facebook page, this would be her profile picture.At her favorite beach on the CapeThe two of us chillin' on Montauk

Our favorite view: Sunset on the Cape

40 Diamonds for 40: Triumphant Tammy

Whenever I'm having a bad day I am now fortunate enough to have many love letters from my family and friends to refer to, to lift my spirits, including this one from my long-time friend, Tammy.

If I am ever whiny, cranky, or complaining about my lot in life, I should remember Tammy and how, despite everything that she has faced, she has come through--tired and a bit bruised, but with two lovely and loving children; higher college degrees, a position of respect, responsibility, and authority; humor and dignity; and hopefully, a better sense of her self-worth.

Her photo should appear in the dictionary next to the words:

triumphant /tri-um-phant/
adjective:
1. Having won a battle or contest; victorious.
2. Feeling or expressing jubilation after having won a victory or mastered a difficulty.

heroic /he-ro-ik/
adjective:
1. having the characteristics of a hero or heroine; very brave.

Fanatic /fuh-nat-ik/
noun:
1. a person with an extreme and uncritical enthusiasm or zeal, as in religion or politics or a particular popular hair band from New Jersey.

Tammy is such a super fan of Bon Jovi that a) she originally requested that this be posted on Jon Bon Jovi's 50th birthday (sorry Tammy -- you were too late!) and b) she usually drops some quote, lyric, or reference into just about anything.

I'd think this was weird, except I have my own fanaticism (see any and all a-ha posts) and I've known her a very long time.

Tammy honey, I am so proud of you, for so many things. Keep breathing. Remember to take some time for yourself once in a while. Remember, so many people are here for you and have your back. You just have to stop and let us be there for YOU every so often.

This is how the dictionary defines FRIEND:

Friend (noun)
(1) Somebody emotionally close – somebody who trusts and is fond of another, (2) Acquaintance – somebody who thinks well of or is on good terms with somebody else, (3) Ally – an ally, or somebody who is not an enemy, (4) Advocate of cause – a defender or supporter of a cause, group, or principle, (5) Patron – a patron of a charity or institutions, (6) A contact on a social marketing website.

And beside the definition is where a picture of Auntie Nettie should appear!

Auntie Nettie and I met my freshman year of college – in choir practice – where she routinely beat on me. As a junior, it was kind of her responsibility. Then she became a senior, graduated, and went on to the ‘real world,’ never to be heard from again, or so I thought. At the end of the summer just before my senior year started, I received a voice message from her. She said she knew of an entry level position at a music organization she worked for, would I be interested, and oh, by the way, you’d be working for the “devil*.” I applied, was offered the position, and accepted. We worked there together for 10 years.

During those years, she taught me how to use a fax machine, was the first person I called when I needed a word for whatever document I was working on, took me shopping for my wedding dress, crafted the most lovely party favors, was there for the birth of my two children (made them the most beautiful baby blankets and Christmas stockings), and stood beside me, hugged me, and let me cry when my marriage fell apart – and gave me chocolate chip oatmeal cookies!

We don’t talk every day, in fact sometimes we don’t talk for months. She knows I’m the worst at keeping in touch, but she goes out of her way to make sure we schedule a date together and plan something that is fun for the kids (a trip to the Botanical Gardens, skating at Bryant Park). And that is what makes Auntie Nettie the definition of a friend. Days or months can pass and when we do connect, it’s as if no time has elapsed. The conversation picks up right where it left off. She’s someone you can trust with your secrets, she always has your back, stands by her principles, and she has given her life to every charity she’s touched. On top of all that, she is a witty, crafty, intelligent, beautiful person that knows it’s the tiniest details that make the biggest impact.

Thank you for asking me to write this, even though you know I hate to write (and have procrastinated all but the last few hours of the 188 days notice you gave me). I’ve enjoyed the trip down memory lane and it’s made me realize more than ever that the best is still to come. So, my FRIEND, as you move on to your next chapter give some thought to my favorite equation:

PASSION + PERSEVERANCE = POSSIBILITIES (JBJ)

Happy Birthday and Hugs,
Tammy


*The "devil" is a very nice man who had anger-management issues at the time that Tammy was looking for work. He has since "mellowed," and/or my threshold for "devilry" has changed, and/or I have my own anger-management and "issues" so his don't seem so bad in retrospect. (And yes, I know I'm using the quotes "ironically.")

40 Diamonds for 40: Note from Nicole

Nicole, aka Nicolai, Nikki, etc. is one of the few friends from high school with whom I'm still in touch. Ironically, she and Jenn now live in the same town but only seem to see each other when I visit Connecticut. Turns out, I'm the common link in that high school chain of acquaintance. I think they are getting better about getting together without me because I get weird texts from time to time from one about contacting the other. (Just do it girls!)

Honestly, I can't remember which of my classes overlapped with Nicole's so that we first met. As you'll see below, it definitely wasn't the many music, choir, theater, or arts classes. It had to be History or Social Studies or something like that, because that's how we got involved in the trip to the Soviet Union. Also, we were probably bonded by our many extra-curriculars. While I had all the Church-related stuff after school and weekends, Nicole competed, and competed hardcore, in equestrian events, specially jumping events. I may have mentioned (oh, once or twice) that I was horse-crazy as a kid, but aside from a couple of summer of lessons, it's been a admiration-from-a-distance thing. Here was Nicole, who had a horse of her very own! And competed! And was nice! And wasn't snotty about it like some horse-clique folks were! And who was too busy to deal with some of the usual high school high jinx and popularity contests too!

There there was the trip itself. If traveling internationally in the 1980s, on Soviet-era Aeroflot planes, brushing your teeth with, and drinking, Pepsi, sharing what passed as bathrooms in many hotels with high school boys, rejoicing in landing in Sweden and heading out to the Hard Rock Cafe and McDonalds, and spending hours together on a bus, train, plane, and foreign hotel room doesn't bond you for life, I don't know what will.

After high school, Nicole was one of the few people that actually visited one of the Attic's first locations in Westchester, staying overnight while her company sent her to the City for a conference. Fortunately for me, she is always so kind to make time for a brief catch-up meal or visitation when I do make it back to Connecticut. Her husband Scott, two boys, and lovely Rhodesian Ridgeback Jasmine, are very fortunate in this Disney-loving princess. She's a true gem too.

Top row: Nicole in one of our Russian hotel rooms, meeting up with young Russians, and the hospitality of Communist-era "fine dining";
Bottom row: Nicole's high school yearbook photo, and one of her prom pictures with a very forgettable date who she did NOT marry, her wedding invitation, and a candid of Nicole and Scott at their wedding

Ah yes, what can be said about Auntie Nettie? The first thing that comes to my mind is thoughtfulness. You are the only person (besides my husband) that actually remembers my anniversary. AND you actually send me snail mail in honor of it!!

The second thing I think of is... no way are you 40. It just sounds so crazy. Because if you are 40, then I am right around the corner. And I am just not mature enough to be there yet.

It is hard to believe we have known each other since high school. You were my only artsy friend back then. Oh wait... you STILL are my only artsy friend. ;) I still have a little pin you made me with a horse on it that said good luck that I brought to my horse shows. It is sitting in my office with all my pics of Bruiser [Nicole's retired jumper].

My favorite memory of us is from sophomore year. We were sporting lovely 80's perms... and we were going to RUSSIA!!! There was a mismatch of boys and girls for rooming purposes and we were forced to [share a bath]room with two guys. Why? Because we were the most trustworthy of the group! I am still not sure if that was a good thing or not. ;) That was such an amazing trip. [I] drank WAY too much sugary tea and [we] ate WAY too little actual food.

I am so happy that we are still in touch even though we see way too little of each other. And it is totally my turn to come visit you! Although my suitcase is bigger than your place. I'm just sayin....

Love you lots! Have a wonderful birthday celebration!!!!

Nicole

Спасибо ("spa-see-ba") - Thank-You Nicolai my friend!