Until the other day, when - predictably - I was baking.
I was baking a lot.
I bake when I'm stressed. It's my thing. You might know this by now.
I needed to work through the stress of the last few months and push off the things I "thought" I "had to do." The weather was grey, windy, and rainy, and while I was cooped up inside, I just couldn't sit at a computer for more hours, or stare at another screen. The television was off and I was working my way through about nine straight a-ha albums on iTunes (my old friends/comfort mixes) and three new cookie recipes which ended up being over 12 dozen cookies.
I was in a zone, or maybe in a honey-induced trance? By turning off, shutting out other things, and baking for others, I was able to not think ... and yet, think about this, that, and a few other things.
One of them was what the theme of the blog would be this year.
Last year, I made it through the 40 Diamonds at 40. (*Mmmm, she pondered. 40 wasn't so bad. The 41st birthday SUCKED, but that was my issue.*)
Previously, I've shared Letters from my Grandmothers (*no more letters will probably surface; I've mined that trove*) and Recipes from my Family (*still testing things*)
I already share my crafting, my travels, my reading lists, entries about some of my friends, and share with you all my love of my "kids," my many nieces and nephews. (*A-HA* *No, not the artists, the EXCLAMATION!* *Maybe I should have said EUREKA!?*)
It was pondering the last one and the whole point of this blog that really made me stop and think.
This blog is really for my nieces and nephews. What else do I want them to know? What else could I share? What are the silly secret things that they would never know about me if they didn't know to ask? What are my wistful daydreams that they could never ever know nor imagine their weird cranky auntie ever having?
Of course, there are things that I will never reveal, cannot reveal, should not reveal, HECK, shall not even dare utter as a whisper for myself ... but there ARE things that are can be shared, put out into the universe, and, possibly by sharing, maybe - one day - come to fruition.
Really, it's about having the guts to share the dreams that will be the object lesson of the year.
So, the idea is - on or about the first day of the next few months or so** - to articulate a dream, and so create, not a Bucket List, but a Dream List.
|Picture via here|
To be entering my 40s means that I should be brave enough now to do so, don't you think?
Dreaming and being more Fearless. The themes of 2013.
And it only took two months, stress and an afternoon of baking to figure it out. (Maybe I need to add a dream of going to a therapist to the list?)
F-E-A-R has two meanings:
Forget Everything And Run
Face Everything And Rise.
The choice is yours.
**hedging my bets on entries