These are the rednecks in your neighborhood

What's the Western equivalent of a redneck? You know, that person who might be a redneck if:

~You keep major appliances on your front porch.
~You have a Barcalounger and/or sofas on the front porch.
~The neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights.

or other sayings like this*...

So I'm with my sister-in-law in a VERY nice subdivision in Utah, heading up the hill to a VERY exclusive and chi-chi spa (to pick up stuff, sadly, NOT to get treatments), when we came across a home that had a variety of "lawn ornaments" in it that almost defies description. [Quotations used correctly, thank you very much!]

You know I had to stop and take pictures, although they don't do the place justice. I may have to go back in the spring to see if they are still up, AND to see if they light up as much as I suspect they do.

"I study and watch the eagle fly

Spreaded wings and sort across the sky

So gracefully he flew

Rising effortlessly

I wanna to know just how to be free."

~Gaither Vocal Band

I don't think this is type of graceful and effortless free flight that the lyricist had in mind. If it was just the bird, I'd say the family was patriotic, but look closer.
Our majestic national symbol apparently has an editorial comment about the state of the union. It's digested a bit of plastic.
I don't know of what I'm more scared ... the giant gopher/squirrel/rodent thing, or the fact that I see frog legs being regurgitated by the angry-looking pelican/heron/crane thing. Notice the skulls of previously digested creatures studding the landscape. The random phallic cactus ... the random heart. Oddly, I think the tumbleweed is not intended to be there, but blew in with the winds.

Mountain Goat got your tongue? Ram it back in there.

Don't be an a**. They did this to their yard on purpose.

Did they leave their Thanksgiving decorations up too long? Squanto seems to be eyeing that fowl thing. Is this their rendition of the Crying Indian? If he wasn't crying before, he would be after he saw this house!

Does Taco Bell serve turkey burritos? Because this makes me think so.

Plus, what's up with the GIGANTIC wooden roadrunner? Beep Beep!

All of the lawn "ornaments" totally distracted me from the fact that there's a "cowboy" by the front door (which I didn't get in pictures), as well as an iguana on the roof.

*RE: the Ram photo: One of the items on the Red-neck list is: "Your boat has not left the drive-way in 15 years. If the neighbors ARE rednecks, does that make you a certified redneck by association?

You realllly have to wonder what the neighbors think. I know what I think ... but I'm an Eastern intellectual snob with a sense of aesthetic.