I’ve talked about my fake names on this blog before, but I realized I hadn’t talked about the other reason I was known as “Juanita.”
Before I escaped to work at the Big J, I spent 12 years toiling for my last employer. Don't get me wrong. It was a lovely place to work. The staff was a small and very motley crew. We spent a lot of time in the trenches (some times 18-20 hour days and many weeks in a row), and we bonded like family. Some times we would burst into hysterical laughter for no reason, or end up singing very silly songs. To relieve stress, a previous executive director liked to sing Pasty Cline songs, and another distinguished member of senior management liked/likes to sing the old cowboy Western “Blood on the Saddle." One day Paolo* came into work and began to serenade me with this little ditty, to a “tune” of dubious origins. Thus my nickname was secured for years to come.
Before I escaped to work at the Big J, I spent 12 years toiling for my last employer. Don't get me wrong. It was a lovely place to work. The staff was a small and very motley crew. We spent a lot of time in the trenches (some times 18-20 hour days and many weeks in a row), and we bonded like family. Some times we would burst into hysterical laughter for no reason, or end up singing very silly songs. To relieve stress, a previous executive director liked to sing Pasty Cline songs, and another distinguished member of senior management liked/likes to sing the old cowboy Western “Blood on the Saddle." One day Paolo* came into work and began to serenade me with this little ditty, to a “tune” of dubious origins. Thus my nickname was secured for years to come.
Juanita the Spanish Lobster(Caradoc’s aria)
Oh Juanita, Juanita beloved,
Turn not your anger on me, I implore,
You are the ocean’s rarest crustacean.
You are the shell fish that I adore.
You are the shell fish that I adore.
Oh Juanita, Juanita beloved,
Why are you sullen, why so enraged?**
I love you, I want you, I need you forever,
Say you’ll be mine, and we’ll get engaged.***
Say you’ll be mine, and we’ll get engaged.
The crabs, they have not claws like thine,
And jellyfish, no shell no spine;
You dance far better than the conger,****
You’d be the pride to any rich fishmonger.
Oh Juanita, Juanita beloved,
Be peaceful, be gentle, be savage no more,
You are the ocean’s rarest crustacean.
You are the shell fish that I adore.
You are the shell fish that I adore.
Now, oddly, I think lobster is highly overrated. Give me a good platter of shrimp and scallops and I'm your girl. Hopefully I can get some good seafood next week on a visit to the Cape during Thanksgiving break. If seafood was good enough for the natives and the Pilgrims, it's good enough for me.
*Name changed to protect the innocent
** Have you met me?
*** No thank you.
**** I have two left feet, so that’s not saying much.
** Have you met me?
*** No thank you.
**** I have two left feet, so that’s not saying much.
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