A humorous e-mail from a friend (see below, with my edits), got me thinking today about living wills. While we may joke about them, think that they are just for our "mature" friends, and believe that they will never be needed, have we really sat down and discussed them with our friends and family? While death may be one of the other taboo topics of polite conversation, like money, politics, sex, religion, and natural hair color and age, I feel strongly that the topic of living wills, medical wishes, who-gets-what are things that should be discussed PRIOR to emergencies and chronic illnesses. The more people that know this NOW, while I'm healthy, of sound mind, coherent, and able to inform everyone in my life of these choices, the less confusion and angst later.
I feel especially strongly about this, because I live alone, far from my ICE and next of kin. For example, who would know that I wish to be an organ donor? How would you know that I'm registered on the NYS Organ Donors list, especially since my drivers license isn't currently signed to that effect? I may have had the conversation with my brothers, but would my parents know? Probably not. Why would they? We haven't had these kinds of conversations, even after many vigils with ailing elderly relatives. Do I know what their thoughts are, if something happens to incapacitate both of them? Kinda, sorta, vaguely, ... not really.
While I don't have to worry about who would take care of my non-existent children if something happened to me, does everyone in all of the in-law and out-law families know who will take care of my niece(s) and nephew(s) if, heaven forbid, something happens to their parents? Are all of the aunt, uncles, and grandparents on the same page? We all love the kids, but do we know who their parents have designated as the emergency care providers? See -- another scary but important conversational topic.
Maybe one of the goals for 2008 is for all of us to at least draft up/update/finalize with the lawyers these thoughts and get them sent to the appropriate people. It's not morbid, it's practical. Really.
So, now that we are all depressed and stressed out about yet ANOTHER thing to do -- here's the funny e-mail that got me going down this train of thought.
NOW REMEMBER THIS !!!!
I, (state your name) , being of reasonably sound mind and of-so-soft body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.
Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it, or lawyers , or doctors interested in simply running up the bills.
If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following, it should be presumed that I won't ever get better:
chocolate
Dt. Coke
filet mignon - steak - red meat
Dt. Coke
ice cream and hot fudge
mashed potatoes and gravy
chocolate
Mexican food
chocolate
French fries
chocolate
Pizza
fudge
Hot Tamales (candy)
bacon double cheese burger
Chocolate
Chocolate
When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes, let the "fat lady sing". . and call it a day!
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