Once upon a time, about one score and ten years ago, a small family of four was living in the land of the Utes anxiously awaiting the arrival of the Stork. The Mommy and Daddy had told their darling daughter and active little son that Mommy’s tummy was growing because there was going to be a new brother or sister left under the Cabbage Patch. The little girl was very excited because she already had one little brother to play Make-Believe with and was really, really hoping that the Stork would bring her a baby sister to share in new adventures.
And lo, it came to pass, that the days turned from summer into fall and the Mommy’s tummy got bigger and bigger. The children began to wonder if the Stork would ever come. One night, the little girl woke up and saw one of her Fairy Great-Aunts coming into her bedroom to check on her. She got excited because that had to mean that Mommy and Daddy were out in the Cabbage Patch waiting for the Stork to make the Important Delivery. She was almost too excited to sleep, just like at Christmas, but the Sandman sprinkled her eyes with his magic dust and off to Dreamland she went.
At last morning came, and the Daddy came in from the Cabbage Patch. He got his grumpy little boy out bed and in they went to the girl’s bedroom to wake her up. Once the Daddy sat down on the bed and everyone was settled, he told his children that the Stork had come to visit. For some reason, the little girl began to get a very, very, very Bad Feeling. Somehow, she just knew that what was left under the Cabbage Patch was not the little sister she had been thinking about for the longest time, but yet another pesky (at-times) little brother. It would be hard to describe the little girl’s initial feelings of disappointment at this juncture, but she was very brave and did not cry. She listened to the Daddy tell her and her brother that they were the Big Kids now and had to help the Mommy out with their new tiny Baby Brother. Eventually, the Daddy went back out to the Cabbage Patch to bring back the Mommy and the Baby. Both the little boy and little girl got to hold the little creature and decided to not throw him to the trolls under the bridge after all.
Years passed, as they do in the land of fairy tales. The little girl grew to love her baby brother just as much as she had her other comrade in imaginary tales of Make-Believe. For lo, it turned out that infant grew up into an tall, odd creature, at time spouting hair that make him look like a great-horned owl, at other times having long luscious locks that the Indian Maidens of Yore would envy, or become hursuite in preparation for the Christmas pagent circuit. It could be said that his humor was bizarre, and that he shared a strange affinity for pirates. He would always loathe appropriate footwear, much to his detriment on travels. He would take journeys to far away lands, eat his share of beans and rice, raft down great rivers, tangle with Geographically-Confused Constables of the Law, emulate Wizards named Jobs, and do much sharing of the snark. He would eventually grow into a Man, and start a little family of his own in the Land of the Utes. As the Circle of Life wheeled around, he too would share in the age-old Daddy Dilemma of explaining to older sisters that the Stork was coming to upset the Apple Cart.
