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PROGRAMMING NOTE from the Author and Archivist


So obviously I just stopped blogging on this platform. I'll get back to it eventually. Or not. I'm taking a break from all social media. It seemed necessary for my mental health.

The last few years have been busy and … challenging:

- 2015 Happened.
- 2016 Let's call it The Lost Year. (Obviously words failed me.)
- 2017 about broke me. Literally. Mentally.
- 2018 was ridiculous, proving 2017 was just a warm up. (Good thing I was already broken so it couldn't hurt as much.#2018TrashCanFire I thought things were going okay, but maybe not?)

- 2019 was such a blur. I know there were highlights, but then stuff happened and carried into the next year...

- And then in March#2020 really took a turn. Who can even categorize 2020? Do we dare?


I kinda want a do-over of some of the last few years. But life doesn’t work that way.


So for now, I'm hunkering down. Regrouping. Trying to stay safe and sort some stuff out.


Stay safe everyone. Stay well.

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Showing posts with label North Carolina. Show all posts
Showing posts with label North Carolina. Show all posts

Thursday, May 7, 2015

Word of the Day: Hiraeth

Notes from March 19, 2015 jotted down on my itouch

Sleeping on the train today, I was dreaming of my grandmother's house. I walked the farmhouse floors, I peered out windows, I talked to the trees. And I missed her. 

Further to these notes, and my sense memories re-triggered by the magnolias:

I have to change trains during my commute, and usually try and cat-nap during the 20-25 minutes of the second leg. For some reason, on this trip, I suddenly found myself dreaming of Grandma Ollie's North Carolina farmhouse. From washing my hands in the pink porcelain bathroom sinks, to brushing my hands along the grain of the pinewood hallway walls, to resting my elbows on an open window sill in the blue back bedroom looking out to the crepe myrtle glowing in the bright blue summer skies, and listening to clothes flapping on the laundry line, it felt like I was there and had just decided to wander around on a nostalgia tour. It was like I had just been transported to this place -- and a moment long lost in time. I could feel the breezes moving through the house, bringing with them the smell of crops ripening in the fields. I knew I was alone in the house, but it was as comfortable as it had ever been while I was there, with family visiting just down the road, or out in the fields. It was just so familiar and felt so real.

Given that this was a local train, with stops about every 5-7 minutes, with conductor announcements, flashing lights, and piercing door alarms, I couldn't have been in a dream state for very long. But ... what a dream it was.
I know it was probably just my subconscious processing the word: hireath - a word I didn't know existed until I stumbled across it on Twitter, but I'd like to think it was Grandma checking in. Or maybe it was Grandpa Jack? Maybe both of them? Maybe -- just maybe, one day I'll dream like that again.
 In the meantime, I begin to understand why I received this vision? reverie? visitation? what have you? It was preparation for news to come. And a reminder. This: Our connections to places last long after family ties are severed -- and all will be well. Home places are in our hearts, if not in our portfolios.
Driveway to The Farm house, NC c. 2010

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Family Trees: So Many (Broken) Branches

This will be a series of family genealogy posts all circulating around an obituary... so, I'm warning you.

You can skip ahead if not interesting to you. But as the family library/archivist/documentarian, I'm going to post these, so they are SOMEWHERE for future generations.

You know how people always make a list of things they would do if they won the lottery?

A new car!
A new house!
Vacations!
Cruises!
College funds!
Endowments Funds!
But more realistically, debt reduction!

Yes, to all of the above, but I would LOVE to have the resources to employ a team from "Who Do You Think You Are?" to  track down the information on a particular line of my family tree. That of my Grandpa Jack.

Maternal Grandma Ollie did such a good job back-tracing her family lines, back in the day before the Internet. My paternal lines are starting to come together - thanks to unique family surnames.

But my mother's father's side of the family?

Well, therein lies the mystery - and really only three to four generations back.

Bear with me ...
This is Grandmary (on a beach!)
photo c. Grumpa, this summer, Oregon Coast
 This on the left is her father's headstone, Grandpa Jack aka Jasper, and
 (right) a picture of a picture of Grandpa Jack. I don't have an actual copy of a photo, and this is a lousy one at that. This original is in Grandmary's possession. There aren't that many photos of Grandpa Jack. This is 8 years before I came along. He's holding up some of his tobacco crop; he was a farmer. The "Agrico" logo on the matte is for a fertilizer company.
 
This is the headstone for my great-grandmother Mary Ann, Jack's mother.

Here's where things get interesting.

Grandpa Jack had a brother, Ira -- pronounced in Southern as "Ory." You try taking an oral history thinking you hear Ory and it's written IRA! Not at all confusing. And the nicknames --- a curse for future genealogists.

Grandpa Jack and Great-Uncle Ira had the same mother, Mary Ann, but different fathers. Half-siblings, yes, AND different surnames. Ira's family used Mary Ann's surname of Bass. So very "interesting......." Something is up there, no?!

Anyway ...

Uncle Ira had children, Grandmary's cousins.

This is a picture of Uncle Ira with his wife Flossie.
taken at Cousin Ida's house in NC, 2010

This is Grandmary on the left with her cousin Ida on the right, c. the North Carolina road-trip of 2010.
See a similarity? (Reminds me: I need glasses - like last decade.)

That genetic legacy is on two sides of a branch of the family tree, and traces down to me, to my brother J, and to his daughter Amber. We can trace it back to great-grandmother Mary Ann. We'd like to trace it further back, but the family history is murky. So many questions, like: Why weren't Ira and Jack raised together? Who were the fathers? Who were Mary Ann's people? What was the story? Must have been a doozy. It's not been told. Also, where is the rumor-family connection to a possible Southern Native American tribe? SOME people in the family can tan like you can't believe. Others of us -- so, so, so, pale to the point of ghost-like.

Sadly, the connections to the past are being lost to time.

We learned this summer that another North Carolina relative, Grandmary's cousin and Cousin Ida's sister, Pauline - aka Ms. Polly - also died in July.

I had only visited Ms. Polly a few times, but Grandma Ollie made a point to keep in contact with Grandpa Jack's side of the family once he passed, and Grandmary continued/continues to do so. I am glad I got to visit back in 2010 and see Ms. Polly for the last time. She was frail even then, and you could see the decline, but she still made an effort for our quick visit.

I had to shoot these surreptitiously.  You need to be discreet when on a proper Southern "rock and talk" with the older generation of relatives.

I much prefer this picture from her obit. That's really how I remember her from when I was much younger.

Obits - for genealogical purposes 

Pauline “Ms. Polly” Bass Gardner

 Pauline Gardner

July 19, 2014

July 19, 94, Pikeville (N.C.)

Pauline “Ms. Polly” Bass Gardner, 94, passed away on Saturday, July 19, 2014 at Wayne Memorial Hospital surrounded by her loving family.

Pauline was born in Johnston County on January 19, 1920, to the late Ira and Flossie Mitchell Bass. She was married to the late Grover Gardner. Pauline was a member of Pleasant Grove Free Will Baptist Church. Although Pauline leaves a vacant place in our hearts, we know she truly earned her special place in heaven. Pauline will always be remembered as a loyal woman of faith, love and respect for everyone who touched her life.

Funeral services will be held at 6:00 p.m. on Sunday, July 20, 2014 in the chapel of Seymour Funeral Home with the Rev. Barry Stallings and Rev. Anderson Barnes officiating. Interment will be on Monday, July 21, 2014 at 10:00 a.m. in the Pikeville Cemetery.

Pauline is survived by her daughter Pat and husband Nick Sutton of Pikeville; sons, Jimmy Gardner and wife Joan of Pikeville, Kenneth Gardner and wife Mary of Pikeville; sisters, Helen Thorn of Goldsboro, and Ida Padgett of Goldsboro; seven grandchildren, and ten great-grandchildren and three great-great grandchildren.

In addition to her parents and her husband she was preceded in death by her sisters, Hilda McManus and Maebelle White and brothers, Ira D. Bass and Eurice Bass.

The family will receive friends following the service at Seymour Funeral Home and at other times at the home.
The family request memorials be made to Lancaster Bryan Sunday School Class, % Pleasant Grove FWB Church, P. O. Box 36, Pikeville, N. C. 27863

Online condolences may be sent to the family at www.seymourfuneralhome.com

Published in Obituaries on July 20, 2014 12:39 PM

Pauline Bass Gardner

Jan. 19, 1920-July 19, 2014
Pauline "Ms. Polly" Bass Gardner, 94, passed away on Saturday, July 19, 2014, at Wayne Memorial Hospital surrounded by her loving family.

Pauline was born in Johnston County on Jan. 19, 1920, to the late Ira and Flossie Mitchell Bass. She was married to the late Grover Gardner. Pauline was a member of Pleasant Grove Free Will Baptist Church.

Although Pauline leaves a vacant place in our hearts, we know she truly earned her special place in heaven. Pauline will always be remembered as a loyal woman of faith, love and respect for everyone who touched her life.
Funeral services will be held at 6 p.m. Sunday, July 20, 2014, in the chapel of Seymour Funeral Home, with the Rev. Barry Stallings and Rev. Anderson Barnes officiating. Interment will be on Monday, July 21, 2014 at 10 a.m. at the Pikeville Cemetery.

Pauline is survived by her daughter, Pat, and husband Nick Sutton of Pikeville; sons, Jimmy Gardner and wife, Joan, of Pikeville, Kenneth Gardner and wife, Mary, of Pikeville; sisters, Helen Thorn of Goldsboro and Ida Padgett of Goldsboro; seven grandchildren,10 great-grandchildren; and three great-great grandchildren.

In addition to her parents and her husband, she was preceded in death by her sisters, Hilda McManus and Maebelle White, and brothers, Ira D. Bass and Eurice Bass.

The family will receive friends following the service at Seymour Funeral Home and at other times at the home.
The family requests memorials be made to Lancaster Bryan Sunday School Class, Pleasant Grove FWB Church,
P. O. Box 36, Pikeville, N. C. 27863

Online condolences may be sent to the family at www.seymourfuneralhome.com.
(Pd)

WEB-CAST VIDEO CLIPS
There was even a 36 minute recording made of the web-cast of Ms. Polly's funeral service/sermon. Now, that's a first! My Grandma Ollie would NOT know what to do about that.

For the link, please go to: http://webcast.funeralrecording.com/events/viewer/6234/hash:86115587E8FF0965

So much Southern twang, but some stories and preaching bring her to life beyond the words of a printed notice.

Obituaries contain a wealth of family history information. When you can, always include them - and all versions you can find. You may think it's redundant, but sometimes, a slight variation in an obit will have a clue that another version will not. 

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Last Trips: Take Pictures, because you never know ...

I was talking to Grandmary on Sunday night, as I do --

Aside: The 'rents and I have a standing 9pm Sunday night phone call -- a custom that has dated back to the college days when there was no such thing as e-mail, blogs, FaceBook, or other things with which to keep track of far-flung family. They actually have standing Sunday phone call checks-in with all of their off-spring. Sometimes the schedule works. Sometimes it's a FaceTime or a Skype call. Sometimes the call with with the maternal one. Sometimes the paternal one. Sometimes, woe be unto you for calling during a SportsBall Evening. Sometimes the parental unit is chatty; other times, one gets the impressions that they ... rather not be talking to you at all, and you feel rushed off the phone. Sometimes you are on a speaker-phone conversation and you don't know it. (AWKWARD!) Sometimes it's a tag-team production because nature has called unto the bladder of people on either end of the call. So -- you know... The usual. It's a family thing.


and we were conversing about this, that, and the other thing.

I haven't mentioned it here (yet), but Grandmary and Grumpa Max will be leaving soon for a year-long religious service mission in Washington, D.C. The application, acceptance, and organization of this mission has been a longer more drawn-out process than they anticipated, for reasons that have only been revealed, as we say: "in the fullness of time."

Apparently HE knew things that we could only begin to realize, and it was important that Grumpa, particularly, be around this year for his extended family. Sadly, some grand old broads, my great-aunts on my father's side passed away this year. (I will blog about that soon.) It was important that Grumpa be available to travel to the funerals, which he might not have been if he were in D.C.

Given the age of my maternal great-aunts, and the fact that my parents will be on the East Coast, we have also been worried about my northern-Utah great-aunties. Mom has been doing trips to Logan, Utah a lot this year to check in with them.

But, apparently, we also should have been keeping tabs on the North Carolina relatives.

[But Nettie? How's all this relevant? I'm getting there.]

I asked Grandmary on Sunday, after listening to her rattle off the names all the family and friends that had gathered for their "farewell" ceremonies, if anyone had taken pictures. My brother Jed, wife Kelli, Drew, and the twins were there; my father's sister, my aunt Cora and uncle Kevin were there; some of my father's California cousins had come in; and lots of CT and UT friends were there ...

But no one took pictures.

When Grandmary was last in Logan, "because you just never know" ... she didn't take pictures.

[UPDATED LATE TODAY because of an email from Grandmary:

I did too!
I did too take pictures in Logan. No pictures on Sunday, but we were all too busy keeping track of Sarah and Cannon.

With four pictures of the aunties from the Logan trip. I stand corrected. Sarah and Cannon are two times the mischief and go tearing off in either direction with chortles of devilish glee.]

It wasn't until the conversation was beginning to wrap up, that Grandmary just happened to mention:
one of my last photos of Ms. Lucille, as I was getting in the car

"Oh, and Lucille died."

Turns out -- Ms. Lucille (in the respectful parlance of the South) passed about a month ago, but we just found out. The North Carolina family tree is large and extended and full of many, many branches, and sometimes ... it's hard to stay in touch if you aren't in the immediate family.

With this news, the sense that more time is passing and I'm losing more connections to my grandmother(s). Though, their presences have both been very close this summer. (More on that later).

Immediately, I flashed back to the North Carolina 2010 Roadtrip with Grandmary (most memorable for the e coli I picked up on the last leg), and how I am SO GLAD THAT I TOOK PICTURES.

I have documentation of the last time I saw Ms. Lucille, who was family, and should/could have been considered another one of my honorary aunties.

Grandma Ollie and Ms. Lucille were long-time friends AND family, cousins through the Aycock line, hearty North Carolina farm wives, church companions, quilting circle ladies, and a comfort to each other through long widow-hoods. While I didn't get to spend much time with her, I am so grateful to her for all that she did for Grandma Ollie, especially during Ollie's last years - even when it was hard for Lucille to communicate (she got so deaf, the poor dear), and for her gracious Southern hospitality for the long traditionally Southern slooooooow "rock and talks."

I am particularly glad I TOOK PICTURES of the last time I ever got to visit back in 2010.
Grandmary showing off family pictures to Ms. Lucille

 Some of Ms. Lucille's farm

TAKE PICTURES.
LOVE YOUR RELATIVES.
STAY IN TOUCH WITH YOUR RELATIVES
TAKE NOTES!
REACH OUT TO YOUR RELATIVES

because ...
YOU NEVER KNOW!

Time flies and life, even after 95 years! ... is too short.

Obits - for genealogical purposes
(Grandma Ollie had scrapbooks of newspaper clippings of obits. I have a blog/book archives.)

Goldsboro Daily News (N.C.), July 23, 2014
Lucille Gordon Aycock
July 23, 95, Fremont
Lucille Aycock

Lucille Gordon Aycock, 95, 1058 Aycock Dairy Road died, Wednesday night at Kitty Askins with her family by her side.

Funeral, Friday 11:00 AM, Simon Aycock Cemetery, 1022 Aycock Dairy Road, Fremont.

Family will receive friends at the resident Thursday from 4:00 PM to 8:00 PM and following the committal service.
Mrs. Aycock is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. A native of Wayne County and was preceded in death by her husband, Raymond Charles Aycock, Sr., a son, Larry Steven Aycock, her parents, Azzie Belle Barden Aycock and Ralph Gordon Aycock, brothers, Elton Aycock, Hubert Aycock, Wilton Aycock and Elbert Aycock, and grandson, Charles William Aycock.

Surviving, four sons; R. Charles Aycock, Jr. (Mary Ann) of Pikeville, Allen Glenn Aycock, Sr. (Jan), Phillip B. Aycock (Nanette) both of Fremont and Roger S. Aycock (Josephine) of Roper. Grandchildren; Connie Johnson (Jimmy), Russell Aycock (Paula), Brad Aycock (Kristi), Melissa Dobbs (Steve), Marie Littleton (Ken), Glenn Aycock, Jr., Julie Johnston (Jay), Suzanne Aycock, Jennie Ledford (Marty), Missie Brady (Chris), Molly Oliver (Chris), Phil Aycock (Veronica), Nancy Corbett (Mark) and Ryan Aycock (Amanda). Great-grandchildren; Hannah Aycock, Heather Johnson, Paige Johnson, Ethan Aycock, Rusty Aycock, Olivia Aycock, Sarah Aycock, Mitch Hurlburt, Stephanie Hurlburt, Megan Littleton, Garrett Littleton, Nathan Littleton, Sara Aycock, Elizabeth Aycock, Hunter Ledford, Fischer Ledford, Christine Oliver, Porter Brady, Katie Brady, Bella Oliver, Jacob Oliver, Wyatt Aycock, Wade Aycock, D. J. Terrell and Gwyneth Terrell

Published in Obituaries on July 24, 2014 1:48 PM 
LUCILLE GORDON AYCOCK
Jan. 13, 1919-July 23, 2014
Lucille Gordon Aycock, 95, 1058 Aycock Dairy Road, Fremont, died Wednesday night at Kitty Askins with her family by her side.

Funeral Friday 11 a.m. Simon Aycock Cemetery, 1022 Aycock Dairy Road, Fremont.

Family will receive friends at the residence Thursday from 4 to 8 p.m. and following the committal service.
Mrs. Aycock was a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

A native of Wayne County, she was preceded in death by her husband, Raymond Charles Aycock Sr.; a son, Larry Steven Aycock; her parents, Azzie Belle Barden Aycock and Ralph Gordon Aycock; and brothers, Elton Aycock, Hubert Aycock, Wilton Aycock and Elbert Aycock.

Surviving four sons, R. Charles Aycock Jr. (Mary Ann) of Pikeville, Allen Glenn Aycock (Jan) and Phillip B. Aycock (Nannette) both of Fremont and Roger S. Aycock (Josephine) of Roper; 13 grandchildren; and 24 great-grandchildren.

Memorials may be made to Kitty Askins Hospice Center.

Arrangements are by Evergreen Funeral Home of Goldsboro, and condolences may be made through www.evergreenmemorialservice.com.
(Pd)

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Happy Birthday Great-Aunt Rachel

Throughout the year there have been mentions of, and pictures of, my Grandma Ollie J's sisters, my aunts Ruby, Dorothy, and Shirley, not mention passing references to their siblings, Henry and Hyrum, Betty, and Martha. That's a large family, of which Grandma Ollie J was the eldest. However, Aunt Rachel actually was the first born of my maternal great-grandparents Bertha and Charlie -- Grandma's older sister, though they never knew each other on this plane of existence.

Growing up we knew of Aunt Rachel because of a very large, sepia photograph of a young child that hung in the spare/front/sewing room of The Farm house. When Grandma had to relocate to Utah and then to the Trailer, Aunt Rachel's picture went with her. After Grandma's passing, Mom (and I have to agree) thought it was only fitting that Aunt Rachel stay in the family. The photo is now in the safe keeping of one of her sisters.

Think about the existence of that photo for a moment. Photography was expensive at the turn of the last century. A photo the size of that one, almost 12 inches tall, must have been very expensive. My grandmother's family was not wealthy by any stretch of the imagination. They had to sacrifice to make that possible. Yes, formal family photos were becoming "something that you did," but it's not like it is now, when every one can shoot anything all the time, and even prints are easy to get at the local store. What made them sacrifice the time and money to take a formal photo? Surely they could have waited. But, as you'll see, it's good they didn't.

Here's Charlie, and I have to say that the genetic legacy of the ears has not diluted this many generations later.Here's Great-grandma Bertha, she of the strong stock and later craftiness that will show up later this month. (Also, don't you think that Elle favors her a bit?)Some of the treasures that one of Mom's cousins pulled out on the family visit back in May, was a stack of little notebooks that Great-grandpa Charlie had kept. I had never seen these before and the trained librarian/archivist/conservationist within me was appalled that a) they weren't being kept in weatherproof conditions or even in acid free boxes, and b) that I wasn't wearing the conservator gloves to look at objects that were over 100 years old. [Notes to self: next time pack a mobile scanner, and a better camera to record this stuff! *Sponsor? Hello HP?]

Flipping through these little notebooks were glimpses into moments of family history: birth dates, marriage dates, etc.

The entries were fairly chronological. After entries about Bertha and Charlie, I found a note about Aunt Rachel's birth and blessing (an LDS naming/christening):

Rachel Amy was born Dec 16, 1912. Pikeville, N.C. Wayne Co. R.D.S.

Rachel Amy was Blessed Jan 21, 1913
By Elder Thomas Tanner of Blackfoot Idaho
Elder Thomas M. Rees, Coalvill(e) Utah

According to my calculations, Charlie was 30 and Bertha was 22 when Aunt Rachel was born.

They had her with them for less than a year.

Less than a year.
Their first child.
I can't even fathom.

The next entry in the notebook, reads:

Rachel Amy

Died Oct 3, 11:30 o'clock 1913

and was burried [sic] Sunday Oct 5, 13

Gone to a better land,

but not forgotten

Happy Birthday little one. I hope you are enjoying being the big sister.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

On the Road Again: River/RoadTrip 2010

c. May 2010
North Carolina Interstate at twilight

Auntie Nettie is on the road again, this time headed for destinations West. She will return sometime at the end of August.

Stay tuned.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

N.C. Roadtrip 2010: Topsail Island

It's so beautiful today that being cooped up is especially painful. The skies are hazy enough, the breeze has kicked up, and the temperature is just right. I would so rather be anywhere but where I am ... say, the shore.
Sadly, I'm trapped in the Concrete Jungle for awhile, so my memories of the brief hours on Topsail Island on my roadtrip will have to get me through until I reach the shores of Lake Michigan next month or the Cape again in October.

Topsail Island c. May 2010 with Grandmary and Cousin Ocala (not pictured)

l-r: Water Tower, Surf City; The Atlantic; Grandmary making a dash down the boardwalk; The Pier (which we never got to); I had to get my feet in the sand; the surf encroaching; up to my ankles in the sand; dune access; Grandmary doesn't want to leave (I don't blame her); rinsing off; TSUNAMI?!; unique beach house architecture -- dibs on the blue one; scenic pines; Rules? We don't need any stinking rules ...

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

N.C. Roadtrip 2010: Flora, Foliage, and Fruit

Bear with me folks. Work is a bit busy lately. Between catching up from one trip, preparing for the end of the Big J's fiscal year, and trying to get things in order for the NEXT roadtrip, plus being the only one in the office in my department, I'm a bit swamped AND I’ve got a blooming headache.

And so that is my segue for this post – the theme of the tropical flora, foliage, and the fruits of North Carolina.
Enjoy this photo assemblage. Textual ramblings one day soon.

l-r: Beach blossoms at Topsail Beach; The Bay at Topsail Beach; Carolina pines at The Farm; Strawberry harvest time; In for a landing on a Tiger Lily; Exotic Plants at a local nursery; Steel Magnolias? Nah, Soggy Magnolias; The bloom is almost off the Mimosa Tree Blooms