Farewell to Flora / Funeral Program

The text from the funeral program:

In loving memory of

Flora C. Morgan Tillery

Dec. 29, 1925 to Aug. 11, 2014

Farewell to Flora

Honored Mother, Beloved Grandmother, Cherished Friend

Presiding: President Dean Witt

Conducting: Bishop Pauline

Organist: Tyler Howell

Chorister: Nyla Tillery

Opening Hymn: Page 295 Love at Home

Opening Prayer: Torianna Deason

Welcome by Bishop Pauline

Musical Number Families Can Be Together Forever

by grandchildren and great-grandchildren

Accompanist: Carolyne Tillery

Memories of Grandma: Lis Noyes

Eulogy: Lurane Van Nortwick

Poem Words of Wisdom from Grandma

Reading by Chris Tillery

Speaker: Wayne Tillery

Musical Number: Luke and Chrystal Tillery

Poem Memories of Mother

Reading by Myriah Tillery

Spiritual Thought: Preidesnt Dean Nelson

Closing Remarks: Bishop Pauline

Closing Song: Page 152 God Be With You

Closing Prayer: Lee Maxfield

Travel to Graveside Services Following our Chapel Meeting

Pall Bearers: Flora's Grandsons, (listed by age)

Eli Hallack, Gabriel Hallak, Carl Noyes, Warren Schroeder, Any Van Nortwick, Jason Randolph, Daniel Hallak, Patrick Tillery, Brian Tillery, Luke Tillery, Justus Tillery, Chris Tillery, Tommy Tillery, Tyler Tillery,
Connelly Tillery, Axel Deason

Internment:

Clovis Cemetery

305 North Villa Avenue

Clovis, CA 93612

Graveside Dedication:

Conducting: Bishop Pauline

Opening Prayer: Anngela Schroeder

Remarks: Bishop Pauline

Dedication of the Grave: Wayne Tillery

Closing Song: (see insert for music)*

Closing Prayer: Justus Tillery

"Sorrow forgot, Loves purest joys restored.

Be Still my Soul. When change and tears are past.

All safe and blessed, we shall meet at last."

*not included

Memories of Mother

I wonder if the little path
  Still winds across the sod-
The little, narrow, beaten path
  Where friendly feet have trod,
I wonder if the trumpet wine
  And flowing almond tree
Are blooming along the way
  Just where they used to be.

I wonder if small children's feet
  Are eager still to climb
The old board fence and "cute across,"
  As long ago did mine,
And if the same old kitchen door
  Is standing open wide,
Where eager eyes may catch
  A glimpse of mother's face inside.

Oh little memories like these
  Come creeping in betimes
And sing themselves to little tunes
  And set themselves to rymes.
Just haunting little memories
  That seem to cling and guide
The thoughts along to open doors
  And mother's face inside.

Someday I'll find another path
  Where friendly feet have trod,
That's leading down the valley road
  And o'er the hills to God.
When on those strange eternal shores
  The heavenly gates swing wide,
'Twill just be "Home Sweet Home"
  Once More
With Mother's Face Inside.

Farewell to Flora: Family, Food, and Fotos

Funeral shots and Family courtesy of Grumpa with captions by him:
 

Funeral:

Looking back at the family and friends as Bishop introduced those dedicating grave and closing prayer.
Wayne dedicated the gravesite and one of his sons closed the service there.

Friends meeting friends and Daniel with wife and Wayne’s son next to the Stake President who was Aunt Flora's Home Teacher for years.

Ray and Debbie made it to the Monday service and stayed till Tuesday at 6PM (with Grandmary re-hydrating in the California heat.) [Ray and Debbie are Grumpa Max's cousins from his Uncle Wayne and Aunt Teddy UT side of the family.]

Louie with Angela and Daniel’s wife and baby girl. [Louie was Flora Annie's husband.]

 Funeral Family dinner:

This table was mostly Flora Ann’s kids and grandkids. Gabe, Daniel’s wife, Daniel with baby, Nyla with one of the grandchildren (one of Luke’s I think), Abe with two of his girls, Ray and one I don’t know

Same as before but the two girls are Abe’s: oldest is theirs and other adopted.

This table I shot because Lurane’s first husband, Jerry, and Lisa’s husband Karl were in it.

 Group shot without Pat and his children. Next shot has them in it but I ended up cutting off the left side.

 

 I didn’t count the heads but Aunt Flora has a big family. Only one grandchild and her two children missing, maybe.

Sunday Evening Dinner:
The dinner served about 150 with me just taking a few shots.

Below are family candid shots of some of the 75 kids grand-kids, and great grand-kids that attended that meal.

Above is Lisa in white, Pat's daughter in black, Kyle in blue and his new girlfriend.

Billy (Bill) is in print shirt, Peggy beside him.

 Wayne’s wife, their youngest daughter with a sibling's kid, (Grand)Mary and Louie in background

Wayne’s married daughter and her baby, one of Luke's sons, Wayne’s middle daughter, and another of Wayne’s single sons.

The oldest members of the family staying out of the way. [Editor's note: my brothers made cracks here about faces and red solo cups being appropriate for every family gathering.]

The yard and pool were full of kids. Some of the kids were allowed a Sunday swim and others were not. Doesn’t mean they didn’t get wet.

At this table we had Luke with glasses on head, Daniel, Luke’s wife, Angela with one son and one of Daniel’s adopted girls.

 Tom’s son up from TX without family, Abe getting drinks for his family, another of Wayne’s single sons.

What a legacy!

Farewell to Flora: Obituary / Family Photos

Flora Morgan Tillery 

The Fresno Bee, Fresno, CA 

August 15, 2014

Flora Tillery passed away on Monday, August 11, 2014, in Fresno, CA at the age of 88 from Congestive Heart Failure. Flora was born in Delta, UT on December 29, 1925, to Lula Annie Johnson Morgan and Ira Roy Morgan. She grew up in Delta and attended Delta High School until she met and married Corporal Marion L. Tillery an MP stationed in Delta. They were married on July 1, 1943. Upon his discharge from the US Army at the end of WWII, the couple settled in Rexburg, ID for a short time. In 1954, due to Flora's health, they moved to Fresno, CA where the weather was warmer and dryer. In 1961, they moved to a home in Clovis where she remained for the next 53 years. Flora worked at the donut shop in Delta as a teenager. At Safeway Supermarket as a checker while a newlywed, and at JC Penneys as a clerk. In 1963 she began her career with Clovis Unified Schools Food Services as a kitchen helper. She retired 25 years later as the Assistant Director over Food Services. She was preceded in death by her parents, Lula and Ira Roy; her sisters, Mildred Morgan and Roa Maxfield; and her brother, Wayne D. Morgan. She lost her husband to cancer in 2001. Her son Pat Tillery was the first child she lost to death in August of 2002. Her daughters Flora Ann Hallak and Janean Reynolds died in May 2008 three weeks apart. She is survived by her daughter, Lurane Van Nortwick and son-in-law Tom of Fresno; her son, Wayne L. Tillery and his wife Nyla of Rigby, ID, and her son Bill Tillery and his wife Becky of Clovis, CA; son-in-law, Louie Hallak of San Fernando, CA; and daughter-in-law, Peggy Tillery of Hanford, CA. Her love and loss will be felt by 24 grandchildren; 43 greatgrandchildren; and three great-great grandchildren. Her family would like to thank all those who took such great care of Flora over the past 20 years. From her hair dresser to her many doctors, her physical therapists, the medical staff at the hospital, her neighbors, and her wonderful Home Teachers, Visiting Teachers and Church Leaders who loved her so much, kept her going and became some of her dearest friends. A Memorial Service will be held on Monday, August 18, 2014, at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, at 220 N. Peach, Clovis, CA at 10:00 a.m. Viewing will be held at the same location at 9:00 a.m. Lisle Funeral Home, 1605 'L' Street, Fresno, California (559)266-0666

 

Published in the Fresno Bee on Aug. 15, 2014

Grumpa took lots of photos. These are shots of all the family photos that were assembled for the funeral. What a legacy.

 

 

Farewell to Flora: Foreboding, Fading, and Fox-trotting Away

Remember my Recipes from series? Wherein I tried out the family recipes from my grandmothers and great-aunts? I have an some update on Aunt Flora of Recipes from Aunt Flora. (I think I need to dig out that cookbook again soon.)

It was only a month ago, when my inbox got got a very sad e-mail from my father. His Aunt Flora, his mother Roa's sister, the last remaining link to that generation of his family tree, was failing faster than expected. Even with the foreboding feelings that had prompted an increase of his visitations to California over the last year and this summer, it was still hard to read things like:

Aunt Flora told [Cousin L] how bad she was feeling and [that she was] passing blood.

Last Monday Aunt Flora was admitted back into hospital where they ended up doing a scope of insides and found cancer cells, and polyp that was bleeding and falling apart. They have her with heavy meds, bringing the bleeding under control, and maybe let her go home Sunday. She has to see Dr. again in two weeks and let them know which of the treatments she is able to follow or stay away from. One is operation now but heart will not let this happen, another is check[ing] again in a year to see what growth it is taking, the third is just let the ten year cycle take its course and stop the bleeding the best they can now.

We talked to Aunt Flora for a few minutes and she is weak, tired, and ready to get out of the hospital again.

[Cousin L] is sure they heart conditions will not allow for an operation now or ever, so she is just taking it a day at a time for right now.

Poor Aunt Flora. She had already been through so much. Been so unhealthy for so long. Suffered from some of the same ailments that afflicted Roa. To have cancer on top of it all? You had to wonder if she would want to fight to stay here any more, or whisper up prayers to those who had preceded her.

I got the following two days later. Two. She passed not even 48 hours after I got the first email. 

We have been talking back and forth all day with Calif. and just finished finding out a few details in Aunt Flora’s passing sometime mid-morning today. 

Seems [Cousin L] was called in to hospital at 1 AM this morning and sat with her mom through the morning. Aunt Flora could not breathe and her lungs gave out in the end. No fluid could be drained so they just made her comfortable. About 3 AM Grandma Roa was with her and they seemed to be at one of the USO clubs having a good old time from the comments and body motions that went on for a couple of hours.  …. There is an email coming maybe that might fill in the blanks for us.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

l-r: Aunt Flora, Grandma Roa, and Aunt Teddy, 3 late, great ladies

Aside:

I cannot truly express how marvelous I think it is to picture my Grandmother Roa and her sister possibly dancing their way over the "veil of shadows." Young, momentarily carefree, pain-free. Based on the few pictures I've seen of them from the WWII era, I can only imagine.

As my Grandma Ollie lingered near the veil, in those days after that accident, her hands were busily quilting away. We know she had visitors. At the actual end, I don't know, yet, how she passed, or who all was with her.

But, at some point, my Aunt Flora and Grandma Roa were together and possibly dancing.

What a way to waltz out.
 
I wonder, when my time comes, if my hands will be busy. Not making typing movements, but banging away on a big black Steinway, playing the glorious music I hear in my dreams but never have played in this life, a Rhapsody in Blue or the Rach 3, or something not yet written. Or  ...

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Fullness of time revealed?

It is my impression that it was important for Grumpa's mission be delayed so that he could visit with his aunt before she passed, and to be able to travel to CA for the funeral and be a witness, documentarian, and to represent Roa's family lines.

Regardless of whether I'm correct, as THIS generation of the family's documentarian, I feel it's important to record and share. Thanks to technology, mass emails can keep family members updated. Photos can be taken and passed around, and obits not overlooked. With thanks to Grumpa for forwarding all these emails on, I record them here, for posterity.

The following, dated August 11, 2014, is a fitting obit and eulogy from Grumpa's cousin Lurane's husband Tom, about his mother-in-law's last days. Only a few minor edits have been made.

Flora C. Morgan Tillery passed away this morning about 8:30AM, August 11, 2014. As most of you know she has needed to visit St Agnes three times in the past 2 months with several different problems that have afflicted her in her advanced years. We have seen many, many miracles, important answers to prayer and blessings offered in her behalf over the past 10 years. But time has a way of catching up to all of us and so it was not unexpected that the frequency of issues, their severity and the necessary trips to the hospital would eventually have a very weakening impact on her overall health and well being. When I was helping her into the car to start this last trip to the hospital, she expressed her appreciation to me for the help, as was her normal way of doing things, but this time it was stated in such a way as to let me know she did not expect to come back to the house. That this in her mind was the last trip she would take to the hospital. While we saw many great miracles performed by the qualified staff, the hospital was her least favorite place to be. She would have much rather sat through three hours of church, than go to the hospital for any reason. She was always ready to go home from the hospital.

Yesterday was somewhat typical of how things have gone lately, as Lurane, with the early shift and later I, had been in and out of the hospital even up to 5 AM this morning. We had gone home for a while at 8:30PM Sunday, but the hospital called us back at 1AM. She was very restless, having trouble breathing and it took a while to get her settled again. We went back home at about 4:30, but the call came again just before 7AM. She was again having difficulty breathing and was experiencing a lot of anxiety as a result. They had transferred her to ICU just after 7AM and were trying to provide needed life support when she passed. It was her wish that she not be kept on any type of life support unless there was a need for goodbyes with family. All of that had been taken care of in recent weeks, so She was ready and willing to go home at the earliest possible time. The veil had been thin all night as we could over hear her talking to her sister, Roa, who had passed away more than 10 years ago. They were as close as any two sisters could have been in this life and while one lived in Ogden [UT] and one in Clovis [CA], they stayed in touch as best they could through regularly scheduled phone calls for all of their adult life. We know and find great comfort in knowing she is in the best of places. There she was undoubtedly greeted by her Father and Mother, Her Husband and 3 of her children. Not to mention her sister, Roa and her brother, Wayne who she adored and missed more than you can imagine.

Grandma had a great pioneer legacy and while she was not always active in her adult life, she was an advocate of the gospel and the gospel teachings. She knew and appreciated that families are forever and she did her best to insure that even here on earth, there was a bit of heaven for her family and their friends, at 1112 Oxford Street in Clovis, Ca.  We will miss her unconditional love of all of us and her wise counsel, especially on how to work together as a family unit. Her greatest strength was keeping everyone pulling together in the same direction, if possible, for each other; and for the whole family. She set a great example for all of us to follow and we will forever refer to the many, many things she taught to all of us in word and deed. We are all fine here and there is no need for food, or meals of any type. We are by nature a grazing group and even now food plans and preparations are underway. But we appreciate the thoughts and prayers of our friends and loved ones in our ward and stake.

We know that Flora was blessed by her great Home Teachers and Visiting Teachers. She like many more in our wards and stake was kept close to the gospel by their consistent visits and their love expressed to her in both words and deeds. She relished their visits and for literally decades it was through those faithful members of the Clovis 1^st Ward, the Dry Creek Ward, and later the Orchard View Ward that she remained connected to the teachings and promptings that can only come through the spirit, delivered in full measure by those who possess that spirit and teach with that spirit. They did that great work each month in her home for more than 40 years. During much of that time she rarely if ever attended church until the combination of those great Home Teachers and Visiting Teachers and the promptings she received from family members, even a granddaughter caused a great change in her heart and gave her the needed courage to move forward. 

... And so it was to be that in her 84^th year she did indeed prepare herself to have and use her own temple recommend. She was helped in that process by a loving Bishop and Stake Presidency. There she did kneel over the alter of her temple and place her aged, soft hands into the hands of her son. [Editor's note: She was sealed to her husband.] ... and in subsequent ordinances ... each of her deceased and recommended living children were sealed to her and her chosen mate, Marion Luther Tillery.

We have seen and have been truly blessed by her great example. By her love of our Father In Heaven. By her love for each of her children, their wives and husbands, their children and now children's, children’s, children. 3 sons and 3 daughters call her mother. 24 married children call her Grandma Tillery. 39 children call her Great Grandma Tillery and there are 9 children who are her great, great grandchildren. Now add in all the spouses, their siblings, the parents of the spouses, their friends and ward members, each impacted by her life and example and you get a sense of the blessings she provided to so many. What can one person do? More than we can possibly imagine, especially when they are constantly doing good.

Many of our family members will be gathering. We will be gathering to remember, teach and learn; and that is how she would want it. The funeral is likely going to be held next Monday at 10 AM at the North Stake Center. She will be buried in the Clovis Cemetery on Villa, next to her Husband, Marion Tillery, her first son Pat and very near her second oldest daughter, Janean. All is as it should be. We must all face and or deal with this temporal death situation. It is part of the plan. This temporary separation has occurred before as Grandma Tillery left the pre-existence and came here before we did and  we missed her then as we will miss her now.

The time will come quickly when we will all be together and hopefully each will be well prepared to qualify for the greatest blessings and gifts our Father In Heaven can bestow upon us. That of Eternal Life and Exaltation, coupled with eternal progression, inseparably connected together to this wonderful family we love and cherish so much. That is how I know of the perfection of this plan, the Savior’s Plan. He and our Heavenly Father loves us so much that they want us to have and hold onto these ever expanding relationships as part of our lives, forever and ever and ever. What a plan. What an opportunity for each of us if we make needed choices and live as we have been commanded to live.

Thank you for your love of us, for your support and friendship for us and for Grandma Tillery. She loved her ward members, her home teachers, her visiting teachers and especially her Priesthood Leaders. Thank you for making this important time of her life so meaningful and so prosperous for and to the benefit of her and all of her posterity. We are much blessed by all of you and all that you do.

Tom

More on our family Farewell to Flora to follow.

Family Trees: So Many (Broken) Branches

This will be a series of family genealogy posts all circulating around an obituary... so, I'm warning you.

You can skip ahead if not interesting to you. But as the family library/archivist/documentarian, I'm going to post these, so they are SOMEWHERE for future generations.

You know how people always make a list of things they would do if they won the lottery?

A new car!

A new house!

Vacations!

Cruises!

College funds!

Endowments Funds!

But more realistically, debt reduction!

Yes, to all of the above, but I would LOVE to have the resources to employ a team from "Who Do You Think You Are?" to  track down the information on a particular line of my family tree. That of my Grandpa Jack.

Maternal Grandma Ollie did such a good job back-tracing her family lines, back in the day before the Internet. My paternal lines are starting to come together - thanks to unique family surnames.

But my mother's father's side of the family?

Well, therein lies the mystery - and really only three to four generations back.

Bear with me ...

This is Grandmary (on a beach!)

photo c. Grumpa, this summer, Oregon Coast

 This on the left is her father's headstone, Grandpa Jack aka Jasper, and

 (right) a picture of a picture of Grandpa Jack. I don't have an actual copy of a photo, and this is a lousy one at that. This original is in Grandmary's possession. There aren't that many photos of Grandpa Jack. This is 8 years before I came along. He's holding up some of his tobacco crop; he was a farmer. The "Agrico" logo on the matte is for a fertilizer company.

 
This is the headstone for my great-grandmother Mary Ann, Jack's mother.

Here's where things get interesting.

Grandpa Jack had a brother, Ira -- pronounced in Southern as "Ory." You try taking an oral history thinking you hear Ory and it's written IRA! Not at all confusing. And the nicknames --- a curse for future genealogists.

Grandpa Jack and Great-Uncle Ira had the same mother, Mary Ann, but different fathers. Half-siblings, yes, AND different surnames. Ira's family used Mary Ann's surname of Bass. So very "interesting......." Something is up there, no?!

Anyway ...

Uncle Ira had children, Grandmary's cousins.

This is a picture of Uncle Ira with his wife Flossie.

taken at Cousin Ida's house in NC, 2010

This is Grandmary on the left with her cousin Ida on the right, c. the North Carolina road-trip of 2010.

See a similarity? (Reminds me: I need glasses - like last decade.)

That genetic legacy is on two sides of a branch of the family tree, and traces down to me, to my brother J, and to his daughter Amber. We can trace it back to great-grandmother Mary Ann. We'd like to trace it further back, but the family history is murky. So many questions, like: Why weren't Ira and Jack raised together? Who were the fathers? Who were Mary Ann's people? What was the story? Must have been a doozy. It's not been told. Also, where is the rumor-family connection to a possible Southern Native American tribe? SOME people in the family can tan like you can't believe. Others of us -- so, so, so, pale to the point of ghost-like.

Sadly, the connections to the past are being lost to time.

We learned this summer that another North Carolina relative, Grandmary's cousin and Cousin Ida's sister, Pauline - aka Ms. Polly - also died in July.

I had only visited Ms. Polly a few times, but Grandma Ollie made a point to keep in contact with Grandpa Jack's side of the family once he passed, and Grandmary continued/continues to do so. I am glad I got to visit back in 2010 and see Ms. Polly for the last time. She was frail even then, and you could see the decline, but she still made an effort for our quick visit.

I had to shoot these surreptitiously.  You need to be discreet when on a proper Southern "rock and talk" with the older generation of relatives.

I much prefer this picture from her obit. That's really how I remember her from when I was much younger.

Obits - for genealogical purposes 

Pauline “Ms. Polly” Bass Gardner

 

Goldsboro Daily News (N.C.)

July 19, 2014

July 19, 94, Pikeville (N.C.)

Pauline “Ms. Polly” Bass Gardner, 94, passed away on Saturday, July 19, 2014 at Wayne Memorial Hospital surrounded by her loving family.

Pauline was born in Johnston County on January 19, 1920, to the late Ira and Flossie Mitchell Bass. She was married to the late Grover Gardner. Pauline was a member of Pleasant Grove Free Will Baptist Church. Although Pauline leaves a vacant place in our hearts, we know she truly earned her special place in heaven. Pauline will always be remembered as a loyal woman of faith, love and respect for everyone who touched her life.

Funeral services will be held at 6:00 p.m. on Sunday, July 20, 2014 in the chapel of Seymour Funeral Home with the Rev. Barry Stallings and Rev. Anderson Barnes officiating. Interment will be on Monday, July 21, 2014 at 10:00 a.m. in the Pikeville Cemetery.

Pauline is survived by her daughter Pat and husband Nick Sutton of Pikeville; sons, Jimmy Gardner and wife Joan of Pikeville, Kenneth Gardner and wife Mary of Pikeville; sisters, Helen Thorn of Goldsboro, and Ida Padgett of Goldsboro; seven grandchildren, and ten great-grandchildren and three great-great grandchildren.

In addition to her parents and her husband she was preceded in death by her sisters, Hilda McManus and Maebelle White and brothers, Ira D. Bass and Eurice Bass.

The family will receive friends following the service at Seymour Funeral Home and at other times at the home.

The family request memorials be made to Lancaster Bryan Sunday School Class, % Pleasant Grove FWB Church, P. O. Box 36, Pikeville, N. C. 27863

Online condolences may be sent to the family at www.seymourfuneralhome.com

The Goldsboro News-Argus (N.C.)

Published in Obituaries on July 20, 2014 12:39 PM

Pauline Bass Gardner

Jan. 19, 1920-July 19, 2014

Pauline "Ms. Polly" Bass Gardner, 94, passed away on Saturday, July 19, 2014, at Wayne Memorial Hospital surrounded by her loving family.

Pauline was born in Johnston County on Jan. 19, 1920, to the late Ira and Flossie Mitchell Bass. She was married to the late Grover Gardner. Pauline was a member of Pleasant Grove Free Will Baptist Church.

Although Pauline leaves a vacant place in our hearts, we know she truly earned her special place in heaven. Pauline will always be remembered as a loyal woman of faith, love and respect for everyone who touched her life.
Funeral services will be held at 6 p.m. Sunday, July 20, 2014, in the chapel of Seymour Funeral Home, with the Rev. Barry Stallings and Rev. Anderson Barnes officiating. Interment will be on Monday, July 21, 2014 at 10 a.m. at the Pikeville Cemetery.

Pauline is survived by her daughter, Pat, and husband Nick Sutton of Pikeville; sons, Jimmy Gardner and wife, Joan, of Pikeville, Kenneth Gardner and wife, Mary, of Pikeville; sisters, Helen Thorn of Goldsboro and Ida Padgett of Goldsboro; seven grandchildren,10 great-grandchildren; and three great-great grandchildren.

In addition to her parents and her husband, she was preceded in death by her sisters, Hilda McManus and Maebelle White, and brothers, Ira D. Bass and Eurice Bass.

The family will receive friends following the service at Seymour Funeral Home and at other times at the home.
The family requests memorials be made to Lancaster Bryan Sunday School Class, Pleasant Grove FWB Church,
P. O. Box 36, Pikeville, N. C. 27863

Online condolences may be sent to the family at www.seymourfuneralhome.com.
(Pd)

WEB-CAST VIDEO CLIPS

There was even a 36 minute recording made of the web-cast of Ms. Polly's funeral service/sermon. Now, that's a first! My Grandma Ollie would NOT know what to do about that.

For the link, please go to: http://webcast.funeralrecording.com/events/viewer/6234/hash:86115587E8FF0965

So much Southern twang, but some stories and preaching bring her to life beyond the words of a printed notice.

Obituaries contain a wealth of family history information. When you can, always include them - and all versions you can find. You may think it's redundant, but sometimes, a slight variation in an obit will have a clue that another version will not. 

Last Trips: Take Pictures, because you never know ...

I was talking to Grandmary on Sunday night, as I do --

Aside: The 'rents and I have a standing 9pm Sunday night phone call -- a custom that has dated back to the college days when there was no such thing as e-mail, blogs, FaceBook, or other things with which to keep track of far-flung family. They actually have standing Sunday phone call checks-in with all of their off-spring. Sometimes the schedule works. Sometimes it's a FaceTime or a Skype call. Sometimes the call with with the maternal one. Sometimes the paternal one. Sometimes, woe be unto you for calling during a SportsBall Evening. Sometimes the parental unit is chatty; other times, one gets the impressions that they ... rather not be talking to you at all, and you feel rushed off the phone. Sometimes you are on a speaker-phone conversation and you don't know it. (AWKWARD!) Sometimes it's a tag-team production because nature has called unto the bladder of people on either end of the call. So -- you know... The usual. It's a family thing.


and we were conversing about this, that, and the other thing.

I haven't mentioned it here (yet), but Grandmary and Grumpa Max will be leaving soon for a year-long religious service mission in Washington, D.C. The application, acceptance, and organization of this mission has been a longer more drawn-out process than they anticipated, for reasons that have only been revealed, as we say: "in the fullness of time."

Apparently HE knew things that we could only begin to realize, and it was important that Grumpa, particularly, be around this year for his extended family. Sadly, some grand old broads, my great-aunts on my father's side passed away this year. (I will blog about that soon.) It was important that Grumpa be available to travel to the funerals, which he might not have been if he were in D.C.

Given the age of my maternal great-aunts, and the fact that my parents will be on the East Coast, we have also been worried about my northern-Utah great-aunties. Mom has been doing trips to Logan, Utah a lot this year to check in with them.

But, apparently, we also should have been keeping tabs on the North Carolina relatives.

[But Nettie? How's all this relevant? I'm getting there.]

I asked Grandmary on Sunday, after listening to her rattle off the names all the family and friends that had gathered for their "farewell" ceremonies, if anyone had taken pictures. My brother Jed, wife Kelli, Drew, and the twins were there; my father's sister, my aunt Cora and uncle Kevin were there; some of my father's California cousins had come in; and lots of CT and UT friends were there ...

But no one took pictures.

When Grandmary was last in Logan, "because you just never know" ... she didn't take pictures.

[UPDATED LATE TODAY because of an email from Grandmary:

I did too!
I did too take pictures in Logan. No pictures on Sunday, but we were all too busy keeping track of Sarah and Cannon.

With four pictures of the aunties from the Logan trip. I stand corrected. Sarah and Cannon are two times the mischief and go tearing off in either direction with chortles of devilish glee.]

It wasn't until the conversation was beginning to wrap up, that Grandmary just happened to mention:

one of my last photos of Ms. Lucille, as I was getting in the car

"Oh, and Lucille died."

Turns out -- Ms. Lucille (in the respectful parlance of the South) passed about a month ago, but we just found out. The North Carolina family tree is large and extended and full of many, many branches, and sometimes ... it's hard to stay in touch if you aren't in the immediate family.

With this news, the sense that more time is passing and I'm losing more connections to my grandmother(s). Though, their presences have both been very close this summer. (More on that later).

Immediately, I flashed back to the North Carolina 2010 Roadtrip with Grandmary (most memorable for the e coli I picked up on the last leg), and how I am SO GLAD THAT I TOOK PICTURES.

I have documentation of the last time I saw Ms. Lucille, who was family, and should/could have been considered another one of my honorary aunties.

Grandma Ollie and Ms. Lucille were long-time friends AND family, cousins through the Aycock line, hearty North Carolina farm wives, church companions, quilting circle ladies, and a comfort to each other through long widow-hoods. While I didn't get to spend much time with her, I am so grateful to her for all that she did for Grandma Ollie, especially during Ollie's last years - even when it was hard for Lucille to communicate (she got so deaf, the poor dear), and for her gracious Southern hospitality for the long traditionally Southern slooooooow "rock and talks."

I am particularly glad I TOOK PICTURES of the last time I ever got to visit back in 2010.

Grandmary showing off family pictures to Ms. Lucille

 Some of Ms. Lucille's farm

TAKE PICTURES.

LOVE YOUR RELATIVES.

STAY IN TOUCH WITH YOUR RELATIVES

TAKE NOTES!

REACH OUT TO YOUR RELATIVES

because ...

YOU NEVER KNOW!

Time flies and life, even after 95 years! ... is too short.

Obits - for genealogical purposes

(Grandma Ollie had scrapbooks of newspaper clippings of obits. I have a blog/book archives.)

Goldsboro Daily News (N.C.), July 23, 2014

Lucille Gordon Aycock
July 23, 95, Fremont

Lucille Gordon Aycock, 95, 1058 Aycock Dairy Road died, Wednesday night at Kitty Askins with her family by her side.

Funeral, Friday 11:00 AM, Simon Aycock Cemetery, 1022 Aycock Dairy Road, Fremont.

Family will receive friends at the resident Thursday from 4:00 PM to 8:00 PM and following the committal service.
Mrs. Aycock is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. A native of Wayne County and was preceded in death by her husband, Raymond Charles Aycock, Sr., a son, Larry Steven Aycock, her parents, Azzie Belle Barden Aycock and Ralph Gordon Aycock, brothers, Elton Aycock, Hubert Aycock, Wilton Aycock and Elbert Aycock, and grandson, Charles William Aycock.

Surviving, four sons; R. Charles Aycock, Jr. (Mary Ann) of Pikeville, Allen Glenn Aycock, Sr. (Jan), Phillip B. Aycock (Nanette) both of Fremont and Roger S. Aycock (Josephine) of Roper. Grandchildren; Connie Johnson (Jimmy), Russell Aycock (Paula), Brad Aycock (Kristi), Melissa Dobbs (Steve), Marie Littleton (Ken), Glenn Aycock, Jr., Julie Johnston (Jay), Suzanne Aycock, Jennie Ledford (Marty), Missie Brady (Chris), Molly Oliver (Chris), Phil Aycock (Veronica), Nancy Corbett (Mark) and Ryan Aycock (Amanda). Great-grandchildren; Hannah Aycock, Heather Johnson, Paige Johnson, Ethan Aycock, Rusty Aycock, Olivia Aycock, Sarah Aycock, Mitch Hurlburt, Stephanie Hurlburt, Megan Littleton, Garrett Littleton, Nathan Littleton, Sara Aycock, Elizabeth Aycock, Hunter Ledford, Fischer Ledford, Christine Oliver, Porter Brady, Katie Brady, Bella Oliver, Jacob Oliver, Wyatt Aycock, Wade Aycock, D. J. Terrell and Gwyneth Terrell

Goldsboro News-Argus (N.C.)

Published in Obituaries on July 24, 2014 1:48 PM 

Jan. 13, 1919-July 23, 2014

Lucille Gordon Aycock, 95, 1058 Aycock Dairy Road, Fremont, died Wednesday night at Kitty Askins with her family by her side.

Funeral Friday 11 a.m. Simon Aycock Cemetery, 1022 Aycock Dairy Road, Fremont.

Family will receive friends at the residence Thursday from 4 to 8 p.m. and following the committal service.
Mrs. Aycock was a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

A native of Wayne County, she was preceded in death by her husband, Raymond Charles Aycock Sr.; a son, Larry Steven Aycock; her parents, Azzie Belle Barden Aycock and Ralph Gordon Aycock; and brothers, Elton Aycock, Hubert Aycock, Wilton Aycock and Elbert Aycock.

Surviving four sons, R. Charles Aycock Jr. (Mary Ann) of Pikeville, Allen Glenn Aycock (Jan) and Phillip B. Aycock (Nannette) both of Fremont and Roger S. Aycock (Josephine) of Roper; 13 grandchildren; and 24 great-grandchildren.

Memorials may be made to Kitty Askins Hospice Center.

Arrangements are by Evergreen Funeral Home of Goldsboro, and condolences may be made through www.evergreenmemorialservice.com.
(Pd)