Quote of the Day: Take a Deep Breath

photo by jfowithahalo
quote by Wil Wheaton
via the Twittersphere

Thanksgiving = Donna's Fudge Pie

I was flipping through my photo albums in the hunt for photos of the family Thanksgivings, to find ... exactly one year's worth and only five shots at that. Unlike Christmas at our house(s), this holiday didn't have the same kind of rituals that left one the opportunity to photograph. (Plus, you stayed out of the way, or you were yelled at to stay out of Mom's way in the kitchen.)

Thanksgiving was a varied family affair. Some years we were on the road to, or in, North Carolina at Grandma Ollie's. I was so young, and film so expensive, I didn't take photos. Other years we were busy with high school activities: the boys were playing for the school bands, so were up at the football games, while I might have had to rush out later in the evening for choral activities - like the lighting of the town Christmas tree. If I was home from college, I was probably sacked out with a cold (I always got sick on vacations), off to visit friends or boyfriend(s), or my senior year - locked in my room for 5 straight days studying for my upcoming 6 hour comprehensive exams that were to be followed, in a week, by a 4 hour GRE subject exam. That year, I only came out of the room to go to the bathroom, shower, or to eat dinner and then head back to the books.

The one yearly constant (and still exists to this day) in the craziness was Mom busily preparing the various family dishes of turkey, sweet potatoes, potatoes, rolls, pies, green bean casserole, and the "Warmadorf" (Waldorf) salad - while yelling at us not to pick at the cooling turkey, or to stop snitching marshmallows out of the salad, or the "crunchies" off the casserole.

For many years, it was just the five of us celebrating and eating. As we got older, the day began to encompass other friends and family. There were the missionaries from church, the local college students - with their spouses or family in town, other church families and friends, and sundry other "specials" or "orphans." The CT house wasn't that large, but it always worked. The dining room table became the buffet spot. A few 6 or 8 foot tables were set up in the living room and piano room, with chairs of all kinds, and piano benches leaving room for folks. After the main course, there was a break for clean-up, football, walks, digestion, chats, etc. Without it being planned, the guys might end up on one floor watching football while, somehow, the ladies cleaned up, did dishes, and/or dispersed to other floors of the house. Potluck was the order of the day, with lots of extras brought for re-distribution into Tupperware, serving pans, or Ziploc containers for next-day (or next hour) leftovers.

There were always pies. Lots and lots of pie. There had to be "spare" pumpkin pies for my brother to eat for breakfast the next day. Apple and pecan pies for other traditionalists. For me though, the highlight was, and continues to be: Donna's Fudge Pie - seen below in a photo from 2010.

How fortunate I feel that I actually have photos of Donna (above left) at our house for Thanksgiving, from many years ago. Even more special was that last year, when Mom and Dad were moving West prior to Thanksgiving, she came down from MA to say goodbye, and brought the Thanksgiving Chocolate Pie along with the recipe card. I didn't get to bring the whole pie back to NYC, but I got most of it. IT.IS.DIVINE!

Even if my new Thanksgiving traditions include Chinese food for a smaller group (Auntie Nettie, Party of 1, your Beef and Broccoli, Egg Rolls, and Dim Sum are ready!), lots of time on Skype talking to friends and family rather than dealing with crowds and travel, and no pumpkin pies, I will have to learn to make this pie. It's not my Thanksgiving without it.

Chocolate Pie

6 tablespoons butter
2 cups sugar, white
1/2 cup flour
2 eggs
2 1/2 cups milk
4 squares chocolate (unsweetened?)
2 teaspoons vanilla

In a double boiler; cream sugar, butter and flour. Mix milk and eggs together. Add to sugar mixture. Stir in chocolate and vanilla. Cook until thick. Pour into a 9 inch baked pie shell. Let set. Serve with whipped cream.

This photos from 2010 don't do that pie justice. So much better than the instant chocolate pudding pies in the shells, this is decadent fudgey, sugar-coma-y, goodness.

Dang it. Now I want pie.

Holiday Adventures of The Shushing Librarian

'Twas last year before Christmas, and all through the land

Auntie Nettie was being Ms. Grinchy Grinch of Bah Humbug, Grinchland.

She asked me, S.L., to give her a gift,

to help her find a way to give her holiday spirits a lift.

(Okay, look. I'm not a poet. I don't even like more poetry, iambic pentameter or free verse. Let me just tell this story my way, okay, Omniscient Narrator?)

As we all know, the holiday season can pass in a blur. With all the preparations, early over-commercialization, and faux-ness, not everyone has a ball. Reflecting upon this, I tried to find some carolers to help get Auntie Nettie in the right mood. I have quite the can-do attitude, you see.
Nettie's a little old-fashioned, so I thought that these folks might succeed with their versions of The Holly and the Ivy or Greensleeves, over Rudolf or Jingle Bells.
It almost worked, until this elf came by and ruined the mood. He hit us both in the head. It was not one of my more crowning moments.
I decided I better get some advice on how to get Auntie Nettie back in the proper holiday frame of mind. I hopped on an accommodating reindeer and asked for a lift to see Santa Claus.
I thought I had bearded St. Nick in his lair, but this guy wasn't the real deal. He spent the time trying to mop up my connections to the book trade. I "hairied" out of there in a hurry.
My journey took me all over the world. Every jolly fellow in red I met got the same question: "Are you the real Santa?"
Finally, somewhere in the Far Northeast, this bespectacled-greybeard whispered secret instructions to me on how to find the real Mr. and Mrs. Claus. I had to promise not to reveal my source.

Although it may appear that my lips are sealed, I've spent a year thinking about this. I'm an information professional. It is my duty to share and disseminate.First. You must believe.

Every Santa's Helper, Elf, Hanukkah Harry, Papa Noel, Father Christmas, Kris Kwanzaa, Saint Nicholas, Bell Ringer, or "Santa Claus" agrees. You can't find the real Santa Claus or the real Christmas Spirit if you don't believe.
Second. Things must be sweet.

You. Your attitude. Your gifts. Things you make. Things you eat. Even your houses must be sweet, or filled with "the sweet."
That's part of the reason that milk and cookies are left out on Christmas Eve. It's a signal that you believe and that Santa and the Spirit are welcomed in your home. (I'm told that carrots and hay are acceptable cultural/regional substitutions because of the natural sugars in the make-up of those offerings.)
Third, even if you are naughty, know that you are getting a gift.

Coal may not be what you want. But you are getting SOMETHING, so be grateful.

Now. I believe. I like to think I'm sweet, and I'm grateful for any and everything that I get. I figured all of this would give me an express pass to the North Pole.

Just to be on the safe side, though, I closed my eyes, and whispered "I believe Tinkerbell. I believe."

Then I rang a bell or two so Clarence could get his wings.

THEN I wished upon a star that I could find the Clauses and get advice to help Auntie Nettie's holiday spirit.

Just as I began to despair, I felt an Arctic breeze whisper by, faintly smelling of candy canes, gingerbread, and eggnog. With a "Ho Ho Ho" and "Merry Christmas, Shushy," Mr. and Mrs. Claus welcomed me to their workshop. I have to say, I revelled in their warm embrace. I was going to explain my mission, but they told me they already knew why I was there. They too were worried about Auntie's attitude in recent years, but told me they understood why she was so upset.

For they were too. They despaired that the purpose and joy of the holidays was being forgotten, buried in stress, expectations, wrapping paper, gift cards, debt, and that by starting the hype so early people were being innudated, overwhelmed, and desensitized.

They suggested a trip to a simpler time, where in a lowly inn, surrounded by family, humble animals, and only a few select visitors, the Christ Child was born. Hark, The Herald Angels were Singing, while other hosts of Angels, (we) have Heard on High. The Little Drummer Boy played his song for Him, Far, Far, Away on Judea's Plain. And Oh, Holy Night was sung beautifully, in the Little Town of Bethlehem.I thanked them so much, blessed by their advice and wisdom, and travelled home to Auntie Nettie; "home" to our growing family, celebrating together, in quiet ways, albeit spiced with childish enthusiasm and presents, all tempered by a sense of overwhelming gratitude to our Older Brother.

So this is our advice and wish for you this Christmas Day.

Get far away from the maddening crowd.

Find a quiet place. Reflect. Refresh. Relax.

And then ... Be with your loved ones.

But above all else, Remember the true reason for this special season. Merry Christmas,

Auntie Nettie and The Shushing Librarian

Silent Night

Silent night, holy night!
All is calm, all is bright.
Round yon Virgin, Mother and Child.
Holy infant so tender and mild,
Sleep in heavenly peace,
Sleep in heavenly peace.

Silent night, holy night!
Shepherds quake at the sight.
Glories stream from heaven afar
Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia,
Christ the Savior is born!
Christ the Savior is born.

Silent night, holy night!
Son of God love's pure light.
Radiant beams from Thy holy face
With dawn of redeeming grace,
Jesus Lord, at Thy birth.
Jesus Lord, at Thy birth.

~Joseph Mohr

Life in Black and White

Sometimes I feel like I'm experiencing things in shades

of black and white --

like life is rushing past me ...like all my hopes were just pipe dreams to nowhere,

or that maybe I went down the wrong track.

But then a strange thing can happen;

signs that I read every day,

suddenly take on a whole new meaning.

And a simple light, shining through the darkness,

can give everything a golden glow.It's all in how you look at it.

Grateful List 2/28-3/19

I haven’t forgotten to be grateful, but I’ve been so grateful to be busy and to be very gainfully employed that I haven’t had time to write about it.

Therefore, in no particular order, I am grateful for:

~ The arrival of three samples of Emergen-C in my mailbox on a day that I began to be sick;

~ Leftovers from board meetings that served as lunch and dinner, as well as for my colleagues who baked the treats which were my breakfasts for about two weeks. (Hey, I know I say this everytime, but I LOVE LEFTOVERS. I hate grocery shopping and I get sick of my own frozen lunches after a while.);

~ My father for finally connecting my DVD player and introducing me to this 21st century technology. Thanks Pop. Now I can whip up blankies, get carpal tunnel, and finally see all those movies I missed. Also, blooper reels? LOVE them!;

~ Speaking of 21st century technology, I am sooooooo grateful for streaming on-line media from the major networks that allows me to watch most of my primetime shows from the comfort of my desk. Watching six hours of t.v. during the day makes my monotonous database cleaning projects go ever so much faster and allows me to go to concerts at night and away for weekends;

~ I’m also grateful for friends that visit me in NYC, let me catch up on the news, and offer free concert tickets. Not only do I get to socialize, but I’m learning about little known works – pieces where you can guffaw at “punny” lyics, ogle Nathan Gunn, and get a big nerdy kick out of seeing Terrence Mann, who I’ve loved since I first saw him as “Bob” in a very obscure SciFi show.

~ I’m grateful that spring is almost here and that I’ll be away with a bunch of girl friends when it rolls in. We’ll be celebrating birthdays, checking off more items from the list of 1,000 Places to Visit Before You Die, catching up, commiserating, and chortling with glee! I promise pictures and news to follow.

~ Finally, I'm grateful that it's almost Friday, so I can leave early for the weekend wonderment.

(I) Don’t Bring Me Flowers

I left the office on Friday hoping to catch an early train home. Sadly, because of the usual mob of commuters, I missed it and had to wait around for the next one. Since I was very early, I had plenty of time to stand around and study the people that were to join me on the train, and to make some important self realizations.

At this time of year, the arrival of spring is not readily apparent in the City. Everything seems to be a neutral; gray skies, concrete sidewalks, travertine floors and building exteriors, black-clad New Yorkers, the skin palours of washed-out cubicle workers, grimy dirt, and melting snow; even the bowels of Grand Central are peculiar faded shades of beige, brown, and pea green. The only splashes of color are multi-hued scarves, hats, and raingear, and the bright blooms at the flower stalls, which are tucked in corners around the Terminal.

I was caught up in my own thoughts, when my attention was captured by a passer-by. I noticed that this lady was carrying a huge shopping bag of flowers. As she walked past, I saw glimpses of brightly-colored bouquets and batches of tulips and snapdragons. For one brief instant, the refrain from that '70s hit went through my mind and I was consumed by a wave of sadness tingued with a slight case of jealousy.

Then I got annoyed … at myself. When I first got my job in NYC, I would go to a bodega and pick up a bouquet for my desk every week. I can’t remember why I stopped. I suspect then, as now, it was because of the budget. I realized as I stood there in my mini-funk that I was being ridiculous. I pass the flower stall every single day and don’t stop. I asked myself a few pointed questions: Why am I not at least stopping to smell the flowers? Why am I denying myself a moment of beauty in an otherwise colorless day? No one else is going to buy me flowers, so what am I waiting for? So the budget is tight? Life is too darn short.

So I marched back up the stairs and bought myself a batch of bright candy pink tulips. I have to say, they were an immediate mood-lifter. I brought them home and placed them on a bureau where they are in my eye-line from most vantage points of my apartment. I enjoyed them all weekend. The various lights and shadows have illuminated the flowers in different ways, plus the tulips have continually changed the shape of the arrangement as they move.

I’m so grateful that I listened to my inner voice and went and got the flowers. It is so much better to be happy now, than to live in a colorless world and be buried in a lifetime of regrets and denial.

One simple bouquet $8
Glass jar of water $0
Important life lesson Priceless

Have you stopped and smelled the flowers today?

Grateful List 2/21-2/27

This last week I was very grateful that I was not stuck in the elevator, though it would have been a great way to meet the neighbors, not to mention all the local fire rescue people.

Now that I think about it, knowing those rescue folk would have been nice. I took a slip on the New York City streets, but thankfully didn't seriously hurt myself. Although bruised and scrapped, I'm grateful that people did stop to make sure that I was only embarrassed. Grace, for the short term, has left the building.

"She" instead, was gratefully indulging in a free lunchtime concert over at the newly reopened
Alice Tully Hall. Taking an hour break to go and listen to classical music, in this case Schubert, with colleagues, in a standing-room-only-concert hall, is something that I need to do more often. Thankfully, I'm at a place that encourages this kind of lunch break.

Finally, I'm grateful to friends who sneakily force me to be social, (like former bosses who "rescued" me and then came to work just blocks away and other friends who decide to celebrate their birthdays in exciting "girlfriend" weekends), and family who are flexible enought to rearrange their plans so I can go and play with the girls.

Much riches.

Grateful List 02/9 - 2/20/09

So many things to be thankful for the last few weeks ...

It all rushed by in a blur, so I don't want to forget to thank people.

I am most grateful to Birthday Fairies, girl friends, and family for letting me make out like a bandit for my 10th birthday/birthmonth. I'm not kidding. Check out the L-o-o-t!

Forget diamonds, chocolate is a girl's best friend.

When I was growing up, I didn't have a lot of "barbies dolls."
Now I have a half dozen action figures!

Um Mom? Don't freak out, but I got a tattoo.

Now I really have to keep my resolution to not be scared to try new things.
I have 1,000 places to see as a Wild Woman, with my lunch pail in hand, Devil Ducky may care.

These are just some of the visits from old friends and new, cookies, applecake, goodies, gift cards, checks, birthday, voice messages, and e-mails that made the day/month great.

Thanks too, to Jane ... (sorry honey, I had to.)

who agreed to take me here

so I could have a "Sloppy Juanita" for lunch.

(It seemed appropriate somehow.)

You must must MUST have the Nutella and Cream Cheese Empanada

(on the left) or the Apple and Dulce de Leche (on the right).

(I'm salivating just looking at the photo. They were good!)

Read more about the restaurant here.

If this keeps up, my phobia of the next big birthday may be JUST

overcome in time to celebrate it with the other 4(ahem)-year-olds.

Thanks all. I am most grateful.

Grateful List 2/2-2/8

In addition to a enjoying a fabulously relaxingly, warm weekend, which I have already blogged about, I was grateful for some completely random things last week:

• For the courtesy of colleaques who bring in their leftovers to supplement our breakfasts and lunchs. There's nothing like walking in and seeing a sampler of cheeses, crackers, and pastries to make your morning.
• For the fact that the week rushed by in a blur. I hate February, so the faster it goes by, the better.
• That Admiral Adama isn't dead ... yet.
• And for free ARCS that show up in my P.O. Box when I'm completely disappointed by my current library selections.

I'm a simple gal. Little things make me happy.

Grateful List 1/27 - 2/1

My grateful list for last week is much more mundane.

First, I am grateful to my dear friends, who have obviously been reading the blog, and then send presents in order to fulfill my requests to Santa.

Not only did dear Jane send me her namesake, but she included some of these delectable treats from a CT-based chocolatier.

I am grateful to whoever invented chocolate covered potato chips!

But mostly last week, I was grateful to USA Network, which kept replaying Burn Notice, so that I could drool over the deliciousness of Jeffrey Donovan over and over and over again.

I have admired this actor since I first saw him on my favorite episode of Witchblade, and then from his work in smaller films like Come Early Morning and Believe in Me, but hello!

Jeffrey Donovan as Michael Westen + swimtrunks/wet t-shirt = a very very grateful Auntie Nettie.

Grateful List 1/17-1/26

I had a few things to be grateful for recently. In spite of my recent legal limbo situation, I was so grateful the weekend before last to be sans automobile. As the snow came down, all I could think to myself was how happy I was NOT to have to trudge down the four or more blocks to find and undig my car, only to have to deal with the snow after the plows came by, and then have to repeatedly move it for the various off-the-side street cleaning days. Plus, I don't have to deal with maintenance.

Last week I was grateful to celebrate two important milestones, Martin Luther King Jr. Day and the Inauguration. How wonderful to be living in America during these days, to see the peaceful transfer of power to a new President, and to witness a day that seemed impossible not too long ago. I was so grateful that my employer encouraged us all to view the Inauguration coverage, and placed large screens in public spaces and recital halls so students, faculty, and staff alike could tune in. The sense of community and our excitement was more palpable than can be expressed through these images.

A few of my colleagues paying close attention,

and wearing their Obama gear.

You should have heard the crowd roar.

More cheers from the classical music crowd as Yo-Yo Ma and Mr. Perlman played "Simple Gifts." How wonderful that classical music was featured prominently and that the arts were given a world stage. (If only the CNN announcers had kept quiet during the piece!)
Family values center stage.
Oh, Yes. He did.
May we continue to pray for the safety of the President and his family, and for him to have patience, fortitude, and wisdom as he travels the difficult road ahead.

I would also be grateful if we could only catch up to the rest of the world and get a WOMAN as President during my lifetime, albeit, it does have to be the right woman ...

Final, I am also thankful for my current corporate climate, where colleagues encourage you to take your personal and sick days – though they are probably the reason why you are sick again! I was also ever so grateful to the creators of Kleenex, Vicks VapoRub, and Advil, and all of the cast, crew, and producers of television on various cable channels. I may still be sick, and look like Rudolf the Red-nosed Auntie Nettie, but drugs and mindless hours of cooking and home decorating shows kept me entertained between sneezing fits and blowing my nose.

Grateful List 1/13 -1/16

This week I am so grateful for the reminders that miracles do happen every day. They can be staggeringly large -- like the US Airways crash, dubbed by the Governor of NY as the Miracle in the Hudson -- or they can be small ones that might not mean much to other people. For me, one small miracle this week was having my lunch money budget stretched due to an unforeseen working lunch, paid for by my employer.

The other miraculous event was that I was able to avoid being involved in a “subway-rage” incident. During one morning commute, two large “ladies” were standing just inches from head. They had been caught up in the surge of passengers entering an already full subway car, when one allegedly pushed the other. A verbal battle ensued, with the “pusher” loudly objecting to being told to “CHILL OUT!” Words were exchanged for much of the short ride between stations, but ultimately they simmered down. They did not actually come to blows, but I surely would have been one of the injured innocent bystanders. When the temperatures get as cold as they did on Friday, the proclamation to “CHILL OUT” has different connotations to commuters.

Mostly I was grateful this week to learn that the action on my highly stressful legal action has been adjourned again until March. As it continues to wind its way through the now multi-year process, Auntie Nettie continues to ask for the prayers and best wishes of friends, family, colleagues, and strangers in the Blogosphere for the resolution of this matter -- one where she does not have to testify or end up paying in perpetuity. I’d be ever so appreciative for your appeals to the deit(ies) of your choice on my behalf.

Thank you.

Grateful List 1/9-1/12

I was grateful for many things over the weekend.

Firstly, I was so grateful that there were copious amounts of hot water when I took my showers. You see, it’s not a given that I’m actually going to have hot water every day. Sometimes it’s a very nasty surprise, but boy, does it wake you up fast when that water is icy cold.

I was also grateful that I got to sleep in this undisturbed weekend. My “rock star” neighbor was away and I didn’t have to listen to his electric guitar and bass at all! Sadly, I think the college kids start school again this week, which means he’ll be back serenading the building again soon.

It was equally as wonderful to be able to sleep in and not have to spend all day in the library, and then have to commute home during the icy snow storm. I was able to enjoy my free nights and weekends calling plan to catch up with friends and family whilst I cooked and baked all snug in my apartment while the snow flew.

Finally, once again, I am grateful to PBS. Last summer I missed the opportunity to see Kevin Kline and Jennifer Garner perform in Cyrano de Bergerac on Broadway. This weekend, it was televised as part of the Great Performances series on PBS. Thanks Public Broadcasting, thanks.

Grateful 1/8/09

Yesterday I was grateful for my seat on the morning train. It's not a given that I'll get a seat, so I'm always grateful that I don't have to stand and I don't have to squeeze in between people.

I was also very grateful that my colleague ended up treating me to a lunch at the local hummus place, in spite of me being the one who extended the invitation. This meant that I could send my budgeted lunch money to my sister-in-law.

I am so grateful to that sister-in-law, who lovingly agreed to mail me the huge box of stuff I bought while on vacation that wouldn't fit in my suitcase. My arms and back were grateful that I didn't have to haul an even heavier suitcase home from the airport and through the mass transit system.

New Years Resolutions

I know it's the time of year when people share their resolutions for the upcoming months. However, I have a lousy time actually keeping them, so I stopped making resolutions many years ago when I realized I had the same three resolutions three years in a row.

This year instead I have a list of things I'd like to accomplish, or a plan of action on the things I'd like to achieve. While the list is pretty nebulous, it does not involve a set quantity of time, money, or things, i.e. I don't set a number on the pounds I'd like to lose; rather, I'd like to have my clothes fit better or be more fit. That kind of thing.

In 2009, I'd like to stop being afraid to try new things (more on that in a later post), to spend more time with friends and family, and, more importantly, to find the beauty and grace in things, rather than focusing on the negative. I recently read an interview with an actress who mentioned her "Grateful List" where you record the things about your day for which you are grateful. What a "grate" thing to help you focus on the positive in your life rather than the negative. (Though, we know it's more fun to blog about the negative!)

I was thinking about my day yesterday and here's the three things that I was most grateful for:

1) That the whipping rain and wind was not the snow and ice that affected the rest of the region.
2) How grateful I was that my boss was out ill, so I could sneak into the office at my usual late time, and ease my way back into the work week.
3) How grateful I was for the many many lovely Christmas letters and cards were waiting for me in the Post Office Box to off-set the equal number of bills that were also waiting.

I suspect that you won't see the results of the Grateful List every day, but I intend to try and do it everyday. I extend the same challenge to you. Find at least three things everyday that you are grateful for and document them. Who knows? If you begin to focus on the positive, maybe the difficulties of life will not seem quite so insurmountable.

What were you grateful for yesterday? Let me know.