Maternal Musings from Mary: May 20, 1975

From time to time we're flashing back to some of Grandmary's additions to my baby book. These sheets were just stuffed to the back of the book for years and years. I've sorted them into order, and put them in archival sleeves to preserve them in their physical state. They are also preserved here for all to see. Not the different formatting and different fonts. Most especially, check out Grandmary's handwriting. That's super fun to see.

The reason we get an entry so relatively soon after the January 1975 addition, is because my track record of being a klutz is starting to leave evidence all over my face - marking me for years to come.May 20, 1975

I’d better add this or I doubt I’ll remember it when I write again. It has been a non spring, but on the pretty days [Nettie] won’t go outside. One Saturday, she was riding with her daddy on the motorcycle and got a bug up her nose. Now, she is afraid of bugs and being outside. [AN: And wouldn’t you be, if a bug flew up your nose? YECH!] Our first real fear to conquer. She still tells us no and won’t listen. Who says the threes are calm years?

And I must not forget her stitches. On January 28, I was bathing Jed and she came into show me something and ran out, as she had been told not to do—run in the house. She tripped, and I heard a crash. She started to cry, which was unusual, so I asked her what was wrong. She only kept crying, so I jerked Jed out of the tub, wrapped him a towel, and rushed into the family room to see what was the matter. There she was sitting by the big chair with blood all over her face. I put Jed in his crib, grabbed a towel and wiped off the blood to assess the damage. Immediately, I could tell that she needed stitches, so I called Max to come home take her up to the hospital, since it was about 8:30 [a.m.] and the doctor would not be in until 9:00 or later. I held her to keep her talking because I was frightened too and did not know how hard the blow had been. She got about 8 stitches, but the scar is looking fine now and in time will not be noticeable at all. She still runs in the house, though. [AN: It was the 1970s. Plastic surgery in the ER didn’t crop up until the 1990s. It took about 30 years, but you can barely notice the scar dissecting my eyebrow unless you know where to look.]

And finally, on March 11 she got her last molar, but not before a cold and throwing up. At least she has all her teeth now, and two sets of stitches.

AN Notes: Two sets?! Oh yes. The 1970s were the era when all kinds of accidents happened that caused later regulations. Say, like the seat belts in the shopping cart carriages? The story goes that I stood up in a metal grocery store shopping cart and it tipped over, causing a scar on the underside of my chin. I don’t remember this happening, unlike the above mentioned trip to the ER. THAT trip I remember, unlike most of the B.C. (before Connecticut 1980 move) years. Unless you are looking up at my chin, you can’t see the scar. You probably CAN see the other scar on my chin, caused by messing around with Jed and a metal vacuum cleaner when we were teenagers. Moral of that story? Don’t mess around with your brother and a metal vacuum cleaner and then try to hide the accident and lie to your parents, or you’ll have the physical scars to show for it for the rest of your life. Some people carry all their scars on the inside. I have battle wounds on the outside, as well as in an archival box to exhume later.

Maternal Musings from Mary: March 16, 1977

Note: This is the last chronological entry in the Musings from Mary, although I'll be featuring one more in a month or two, from May 1975. This will just give you a sense of my future/past developmental milestone and hairdos!

L: Age unknown aka Mullet hair ~ R: Age unknown aka Farrah Flyaways

Age Unknown - Barrettes and Bangs

March 16, 1977

Nearly two years since I last wrote:

Calmer – not many no’s
Outside little in Summer '75
Fall ’75 started dancing. Primary
Nail biting, picking [AN: STILL picking the cuticles!]
Neighborhood nursery – Jan. 1976 – May '76
Summer School 1976. Hair cut June '76
Pre-school
Still loves books
Our conflicts and clashes: Naps downstairs Summer '76
Rides with daddy on motorcycle
Colors, shapes, books, coloring, crafts, days of week
Helpful still. Stubborn which causes clashes
Needs more physical love and time. Slow to get attention [AN: STILL!]

AN Notes: I was five by this point. Jed would have been two and change. She would have been running around after us. Being Molly Mormon. Helping Dad with papers. Doing Weight Watchers, both participating and teaching. She didn’t have time to type up Dr. Spock notes any more. Plus in another year or so … J would be in development and/or making an appearance, and by 1980, we were moving! That’s a LOT! In a pre-cable tv, pre-word processor, pre-microwave, pre-Internet 1970s oil embargo- world when Dad was schooling and working and we live far away from all but the great-aunts. Was it a better time? Possibly? Were there different stresses and distractions? Surely. (Actually, that was Aunt Shirley – and she helped a lot!)

Thanks for all of these Mom. It's been oddly educational to be reading about my infantile/young self in these musings now that I'm supposedly all "mature" and "middle-aged!"

Maternal Musings from Mary: January 16, 1975

Although my 40th year of celebrations is almost over, I'm still excited to share these glimpses back into my past. It's a good measure of how far I've come - though, to be honest, it's not hard to feel accomplished given that these entries are all about managing to learn how to deal with basic body functions and talking!

It's amazing how much you learn in your first few years of life, but how set you are in the core of yourself, really, in those few years. Despite more than 30 years of exposure to new things, and other cultural, societal, culinary, educational, and geopolitical pressures, that core doesn't really change too much.

To wit, please note: I'm about the age in the musings that nephew Nathan is currently. What will he be like in 20, 30, 40 years? Hopefully still the happy, optimistic, sunny kid, not too fazed by his older sisters' antics. Maybe he'll love horses, books, animals, or ... be involved with automobiles ... or some sort of police or fireman, or military man, protecting home, family, and country.

Anyway, these musings are by Grandmary about me ... lo, those many years ago.

L: February 13, 1974, Second Birthday ~ R: TBD

January 16, 1975 [AN: New typewriter and I'm not quite three here, 2 years, 11 months]

My, it’s has been over a year and four months since I wrote about our [Nettie] and she is nearly three years old now; quite a young lady. She has a little two month old brother, Jed, now and does not seem to be too jealous of him. His is another story for another book, so let me see if I can summarize the last year with [her.]

FEEDING

[Nettie] eats what we eat now and has nearly mastered a salad sized fork. I say she eats what we eat now—everything but potatoes, except fried ones. She will eat them raw, but that’s the only way. She doesn’t eat bananas either. [AN: I have apparently NEVER LIKED BANANAS!] In fact, she is not much of a fruit eater, but will eat any type of meat given her. [AN: Meat good.] In October of ’73 when we flew home to N.C. last, she began to eat eggs, and we try to have an egg at least once or twice a week. She likes food and usually east well at meals, but not in between. The past August, she stopped her snack in the afternoons and now usually eats three good meals a day. She doesn’t like milk in the mornings, preferring to have Tang whenever we will let her. On 18 Dec 1974 she weighed 28 pounds and was 36 inches tall. [AN: Tang! Chemical Tang!]

SLEEPING

[Nettie] now goes to bed awake, and I doubt that there are many nights that she goes directly to sleep without playing. Starting sometime soon after writing the last installment, we played a radio in her room at night until we got ready to go to bed and throughout her afternoon naps. This radio was to keep the noise down in the apartment next door. This July, after moving to [AN: REDACTED], Max got her bed done and she has not fallen out of it yet. She still sleeps 12 hours, or is in bed about 12 hours and takes naps at 1:00 until usually three. At her check up at 2 ½ the doctor found that she had a heart murmur and encouraged us to let her have all the rest that she would take. A bedtime ritual is reading two books which has been going on since the last writing. Now, she has quite a collection of books. [AN: And that’s when I started collecting books!]

OTHER ACTIVITIES

Bathtime means bubbles now. She loves to play in them. She still only gets the one bath a day now, and does a sloppy job washing herself.

[Nettie’s] vocabulary is great now and she puts sentences together well. For over a year now she was watched Sesame Street regularly and can now count to 10 and say the alphabet to P, and in generally recognize all the letters and numbers. She knows all the names of the colors but does get them confused often. For the past four months, she has been a Romper Room regular too and is really absorbing ideas and relationships. She started Junior Sunday School January 8, 1975. She is not quite as helpful as she once was, which may be is partly my fault, but then is so busy exploring her world and its limits. She can set the table and does put all the toys away. Since Jed was born, she has become a little more helpless. Before it got too cold, she had about mastered her tricycle, and I look forward to spring when she can play outside more and become more coordinated.

She is all potty trained, but we did not get down to serious business with that until after she was two. For several weeks, we tried the potty on the big toilet but that did not work at all. She just would not go. Finally, we borrowed a potty chair and after several more days of working with her for twenty or more minutes and spanking her, she would cry and relax her muscles enough to go. I would cry with her and give her big kisses. For several months all I did as take her to the potty at least every hour. To BM train her was easy after that. Then too she got milk poisoning from whole milk about that time and the diarrhea made it easier. By summer of ’74 she was dry at night too. It was simple after she realized what she was supposed to do! [AN: I *think* I’m thankful Mom recorded all this, I suppose?]

[Nettie] is still a generally happy child but right now she is really asserting herself and telling us no and not doing what she is asked. I hope I have the patience to endure this phase! [AN: HA! Just you wait woman.]

AN Notes: Grandmary and Grumpa Max lived in a series of apartments in Logan, Utah in their married life, and then one house. I think I lived in two apartments with them and then the house. I only remember living in the house, seen here on the right, in its incarnation in 2010. On the left, is the apartment probably referred to above - also taken in 2010. It was down the block from the house. This was probably the first instance in my life, of us literally moving next door, or down the block. That includes my most recent move, in 2006, from down the building two addresses down the street, to the most current studio from which I am blogging.

Maternal Musings from Mary: September 4, 1973

Another dip into the baby book files for an entry from Grandmary. I wish I had access to my brothers' books to see what gems are in there. I know this is an "Auntie Blog," so I think that should include sharing information for the nieces and nephews about their parents as well. I mean, in this entry, I'm 18 months old and already my brother Jed is starting to be a glimmer in my parents' eyes!

L: January 17, 1973: 11 months, 3 days ~ R: June 23, 1973 [1 year, 4 months, 10 days]

September 4, 1973

I suppose that after a year, I should see if I can remember what has transpired in [Nettie’s] development so that when we decide to have a brother of sister for her I can see how much fun [she] was. Feeding this little girl has been a lesson in Morgan personality [AN: Grandma Roa’s side of the family]. Feed her when she is hungry or else we have a whining, crying child. Sometime in September ’72 [Nettie] started having one meal, then another in her high chair. Mama found it easier as [Nettie] held her head up for the food. By then, too, we went to Jr. foods, but still cereal/fruit morning and night, vegetables at noon, and fruit, vegetables, or a dessert at about four. She still wanted a snack in the afternoons and does even now when she eats with her daddy before he goes to work. [AN: GrumpaMax had a series of night jobs too, as well as going to school and working during the day.] By January, we were blending from the table food, but the last of February she balked at my feeding her and fed herself bread mostly for about a month. By April, the cereal had about ceased, and now she feeds herself everything, except applesauce, which I still spoon feed her. She eats well and enough, but doesn’t seem to like mashed potatoes, but give her French fries and she will out eat Cindy or Ray [AN: My two older cousins]. The bottle was given up for nap time in June, and at nights on August 13. In May, she began drinking from the glass and takes all liquid adultly now. She wasn’t much of a spiller, even at first. When she did anything the first time, she usually waited long enough to do it well. No spoon yet, but that will come.

SLEEPING

She always slept well, once we got her to sleep. Naps still continue in the afternoons, some thirty minutes, some two hours, depending on the tooth cutting. We still put her down on her tummy, cover her with her quilt, and put her, and she sleeps. Up until we gave up her nap bottle, she usually went to nap time asleep too, but now naps are not too much trouble as far as fussing for awhile. Up until we took the bottle away from her at bedtime, we still put her to bed asleep or she’d cry and make herself angry until she’d throw up. We really had some rough times through the winter getting her to bed. For awhile, we went through getting her to sleep while taking her bottle, putting her to bed, and having her wake up and cry thirty minutes later until she threw up or we got her up and give her more bottle. We thought we’d just let her cry until she gave up, but usually she’d get so angry she’d throw up and we’d have to clean her up and start all over again. She finally outgrew that after about a year old and would stay asleep once put down. Now, we put her down and she plays until she goes to sleep. Usually 12 hours, as has been the rule since she started to sleep through. Except for the nights she wakes up teething—these are two to five hour sessions with no stop. She just will not give up and go back to sleep. We’ve let her cry and cry—usually we would get up and lay on the couch with her until she’d calm down and go off to sleep. Since September, 1972 when she cut her first tooth, we’ve gone through this several nights a month. One night we can’t explain is our anniversary in N.C. Mama and Daddy took care of her for us to go out and let her stay up too long. She was up from 11:30 until 5:00 sitting and jabbering happily in the middle of our bed. If we had been home, that is one night she would have cried. [AN: Apparently, I’ve ALWAYS been a night owl.]

OTHER ACTIVITIES

Bathtime is still fun for [Nettie.] Two baths continued until about two weeks ago when I stopped the morning bath. The only part of the bath she doesn’t like is having her hair washed. She doesn’t like to lay back to have it rinsed. But, she does like to play with her doggie and other toys and try to wash herself when I will let her have the washcloth.

[Nettie] started crawling for sure August 20, 1972 and was really on the move and still is. The bathroom and our bedroom were off limits except when we were in those rooms, but she had the run of the rest of the house. She learned to leave the plants, papers, etc alone with several hand slappings and No No’s and has never bothered the drawers or doors in the kitchen. She explored, patted the floor, doors, fireplace, coffee table, everything, laughing and squealing, and soon pulled up to stand. For months, she would stand a long time by things, only touching with her finger until she started walking February 21. Before she learned to sit down from standing, we had tears and temper because she could not get down immediately and got easily frustrated. She finally learned to bend her knees and sit. Sitting along also took awhile. For months, she’d sit, propping with one arm. If we sat her, she’d sit there until she decided to crawl elsewhere, but she just took awhile learning to push up with that arm and sit without propping. As she got more mobile, she spent less and less time in her playpen, and we let her go, except when I vacuumed and mopped. She didn’t like her walker after she started to crawl; it just didn’t go fast enough or get into tight corners, so we just let her crawl—that she did until she started to walk; then she gave up crawling any at almost immediately. Now she walks/runs all over, has mastered her motorcycle that Grandma [Roa?] sent her from California, and pulls Larry Liteup, Humpty Dumpty, and her wagon instead of carrying them around like she did until about a month ago, and has learned to put her pop beads together without help.

Her first word was “see” in January. Now her recognition is enormous, but she still doesn’t talk English as some at 18 ½ months do. Not that she doesn’t verbalize. For a mother who is so reticent, she just jabbers all day long, to everything. She does say the English words doggie (and about everything has been doggie since late June) toe, no, nose, horsie, whee, uh oh, daddee, momie, pretty, baby. She recognized and will point to kitty, pig, shoe, fish, hair, ear, eye, button, mouth, foot, hand, flower, tongue, etc, puts things in the garbage, puts her bib away, clothes in the hamper, daddy or momie’s shoes in the right closet, goes to get her coat, leads me to put away furniture polish, closes drawers and doors, knows the way to the garden, puts her specific toys away in the toy box, helps fold her quilt in the morning, blows her nose, and generally know where things go in the house and tells mama to put them away if they are not where they are to go.

[Nettie’s] pain threshold is high. Bumps and falls that would make some children scream, only get an “uh oh” from her. I did spend most of the summer outside watching her because the two 2 and 3 year olds next door were so aggressive.

Potty training started Sept. 5. No pee pee in the potty yet. That is for another writing.

[Nettie] is generally a happy, disciplined child. We love her and feel that our firm discipline is important for her to know the limits and be able to work within them. I know that I have left out many memories that are dear to me, but rereading this will jar my memory to recreate these spiritual 18 months with our [Nettie.]

Maternal Musings from Mary: August 3, 1972

Once upon a time, a long time ago, before there were such things as computers, digital cameras, or even (gasp) the Internet, so much of our lives and past were documented with physical items -- "scraps" if you will, of paper, pictures, ticket stubs, cards, miscellanea, etc. that were collected into boxes, piles, or - if you were really organized - books or albums. Scrapbooks are so wonderful to pick up, open, look at, touch, and sometimes even to smell. (It's like when the pages are closed, the essences of your past self are trapped within, and are saved to trigger memories and/or your imagination.) They really do engage almost all of the senses.

The only problem? Making sure that you save all these "scraps" and then organize them in some fashion. If you think it's hard to keep up with e-mail, twitter, blogs, or other social media, imagine piles of so-much-stuff that you have to find time to label, insert, organize, and keep up with -- because it just keep accumulating. Blogging takes time, but imagine trying to keep a record on paper, either handwritten or by ye old fashioned typewriter? There was no spell-check or grammar check, or a backspace or cut+paste. If you made a mistake, it was there to see.

Also imagine - if you will - trying to keep up with a books dedicated to an event or your child/children, while also trying to record memories, analysis, or anecdotes in some format.

It is with all this in mind, that I was delighted to rediscover my baby book in the pile of my stuff that Mom had saved. I knew I had a baby book; I just hadn't seen it in decades. Honestly, I didn't know what all was in it, until I took it out of the box and cracked it open. It's a fairly standard pink 1970s Hallmark-esque baby book, with notations about date of birth, weight, height, and room for entries about milestones, gifts, etc. Mom's unique handwriting is throughout, along with a lock of my hair, my hospital bracelet, a print of my baby feet, and so much more.

What was really interesting to find, especially in this 40 Diamond year, were the trove of pictures of me from infancy to grade school tucked in between pages. Then in very back of the book were the real gems -- a stack of typewritten (and then hand-scrawled) "maternal musings" from my mother ... banged out on a vintage typewriter some afternoon or evening between wifely and motherly duties, housework, naps, errands, chores, and eventually -- balancing multiple children.

I'm lucky to have these snapshots into the past. They are hysterical ... and slightly embarrassing too. You'll know more about my, um, functions than you'll ever want to know. You'll also giggle at a first-time mother's learning curve with guinea pig of a daughter. There aren't many of these musings, so I'm going to post them in chrono order, with corresponding photos ... into next year.

Please note: I have retyped them for the blog (with new appreciation for how far technology has come) to edit out real names, fix minor typos, and to preserve them for the next generations. I have also made some parenthetical editorial comments throughout, because, well ... It's my blog and I'll snark if I want to.

L: Birthday, Feb. 1972, or close thereafter ~ R: June 15, 1972: 4 months, 2 days

August 3, 1972

FEEDING

All that I had read before [Auntie Nettie] was born convinced me that she should be on a schedule, one that would accommodate both her and me. After about two days home, we decided that 8, 12, 4 might work best for everyone. Everyone was happy with that arrangement but [Nettie]. For the first two weeks she cried between each feeding, especially between 8 and 12 at night. I was breast feeding because I felt that I wanted the experience and because we felt that my milk would be good for her. Since she was nursing vigorously, we could not understand what was wrong with her, especially the fact that she had so much gas. I tried to get my rest so that I would have adequate milk for her, but evidently, her crying frustrated me so that I did not produce milk abundantly which in turn made her cry more …. At two weeks the doctor guessed the problem when I described our two weeks and when he saw that she weighed only 6’5oz, [AN: I had LOST weight!] put her on cereal and fruit, and told us to use a supplemental bottle when she did not appear satisfied. Thus, we settled down to a routine of cereal and fruit in the mornings and at night, and Mama and bottle in between. Usually, she had two more ounces after nursing both sides of me. Gradually, she was only nursing from me once a day so that by March 20, I had dried up so much that I put her on the bottle completely. At four weeks, she weighed 7’13oz and the doctor put her on vegetables. She’s not stopped eating since. However, she has become so active in the past months, she has gone to three hour feedings. Moreover, her temper shows itself when she does not get fed immediately when she thinks she should. At nights sometimes, she will be so angry that she will wail and not eat. Therefore, Mama has to be very time conscious so that she doesn’t get angry. In time, maybe she will outgrow this phase and learn to be more patient, but then maybe not. Her daddy still gets impatient when hungry.

SLEEPING

As indicated, the first two weeks none of the three of us got too much sleep. In the mornings after her bath, she seemed to be more satisfied in her little seat; therefore she slept there most of the mornings. In the afternoons, she would mainly sleep in her bed, but hardly ever slept at all from her 4 p.m. feeding until midnight. After she began to get fed and satisfied, she slept better at night so that we would only be up with her for an hour where sometimes the midnight feeding took two hours as well as the 4 a.m. feeding. At about a month old, she began to sleep from the 8 p.m. feeding until two to four depending on her. Then, two days before she was two months old, she slept all night or at least from about 10 until 7:30, and she’s slept through since then, except when she was sick in N.C. in May of ‘72. However, we did begin one bad habit that we didn’t break until she was 4 months old –that of being asleep before she was put to bed on her tummy. After we got home from N.C. we put her in her crib for the afternoon naps awake, and at night if she had not gone to sleep voluntarily. She was getting too big for her seat where she had slept up to that point. The time had come where she had to accept her bed and learn to go to sleep in it. By 5 ½ months, the afternoon nap was no problem, but nights sometimes she would fuss, especially if she were not full. Moreover, the afternoon nap was only 1 ½ to 2 hours, but then we didn’t complain because she would sleep from nine to nine.

OTHER ACTIVITIES

Bathtime was fun for [Nettie]. At first, it was the little blue tub on the kitchen counter that she splashed in and got too big for. June 7 after returning from Grandma’s, into the big tub with blue fish she went. By five months she knew what her legs were for and she used them to get the bathroom and Mama. From about two weeks on, [Nettie] got her bath in the morning before her breakfast. Consequently, she learned to wait for breakfast until after her bath. About mid-June, the heat increased here in the apartment, so we decided to give her a bath at night too. This second bath soon became a ritual—a two bath a day baby.

To us, [Nettie] always seemed an alert, attentive baby, holding her head steady from birth. However, I don’t think we were really prepared for her activeness. At three months when we went to N.C. for the visit, she began to balk at her chair, hunching her hips to slide out so that we didn’t dare leave her even strapped in. Therefore, when we returned to Utah, we got out the playpen, and I fixed her swing and walker. Thus, we began a new routine of rolling around in the playpen in the mornings and having a nap in it to swinging or trying out the walker after the nap in the afternoon and in the morning. Also, she was introduced more to evening walks setting up in her stroller where previously she had sat in her seat in the stroller. At first, the walker only went backwards, but on July 8 when left with Grandma [Roa], she started forward. Then the plant and magazines were not safe so discipline started. By about six months, she had learned that many things were to be left alone. A little after five months, we began to notice that she was trying to get up on her hands and knees. By August 1, she had that mastered and was rocking, staying up longer and longer in that position and practicing putting the left knee forward. We knew that crawling wasn’t too far in the future.

We had a chewer and a licker too. We noticed that she really began to chew after we got home from N.C. June 6. I went out and bought two teething rings, which we could not manipulate too well at first, but by mid-July, the beads that Grandma [Ollie] and Grandpa [Jack] had bought and the rattle and rings and anything else were being grasped coordinately and accurately and chewed hard. Also by August 1, she had learned not to chew her own fingers, but ours, because it hurt to chew hers. One of her favorite chewing objects was her swing, the straps, and seat if she were in it or if in her walker, she’d roll up to it and chew away on the metal. The drapes, coffee table, and chair were good too, and her stroller, blocks, anything.

By August 3, this writing, she’d not learned to sit up along too well, except in my lap, but had improved greatly in her stroller to no slumping over and in the shopping carts. Her high chair didn’t sit just right, but she only sat in that for fun. I still hold her to feed her. For not quite six months, we think that she’s really progressing, no teeth yet, but who wants teeth marks on our coffee table.