40 Diamonds for 40: Note from Nicole

Nicole, aka Nicolai, Nikki, etc. is one of the few friends from high school with whom I'm still in touch. Ironically, she and Jenn now live in the same town but only seem to see each other when I visit Connecticut. Turns out, I'm the common link in that high school chain of acquaintance. I think they are getting better about getting together without me because I get weird texts from time to time from one about contacting the other. (Just do it girls!)

Honestly, I can't remember which of my classes overlapped with Nicole's so that we first met. As you'll see below, it definitely wasn't the many music, choir, theater, or arts classes. It had to be History or Social Studies or something like that, because that's how we got involved in the trip to the Soviet Union. Also, we were probably bonded by our many extra-curriculars. While I had all the Church-related stuff after school and weekends, Nicole competed, and competed hardcore, in equestrian events, specially jumping events. I may have mentioned (oh, once or twice) that I was horse-crazy as a kid, but aside from a couple of summer of lessons, it's been a admiration-from-a-distance thing. Here was Nicole, who had a horse of her very own! And competed! And was nice! And wasn't snotty about it like some horse-clique folks were! And who was too busy to deal with some of the usual high school high jinx and popularity contests too!

There there was the trip itself. If traveling internationally in the 1980s, on Soviet-era Aeroflot planes, brushing your teeth with, and drinking, Pepsi, sharing what passed as bathrooms in many hotels with high school boys, rejoicing in landing in Sweden and heading out to the Hard Rock Cafe and McDonalds, and spending hours together on a bus, train, plane, and foreign hotel room doesn't bond you for life, I don't know what will.

After high school, Nicole was one of the few people that actually visited one of the Attic's first locations in Westchester, staying overnight while her company sent her to the City for a conference. Fortunately for me, she is always so kind to make time for a brief catch-up meal or visitation when I do make it back to Connecticut. Her husband Scott, two boys, and lovely Rhodesian Ridgeback Jasmine, are very fortunate in this Disney-loving princess. She's a true gem too.

Top row: Nicole in one of our Russian hotel rooms, meeting up with young Russians, and the hospitality of Communist-era "fine dining";
Bottom row: Nicole's high school yearbook photo, and one of her prom pictures with a very forgettable date who she did NOT marry, her wedding invitation, and a candid of Nicole and Scott at their wedding

Ah yes, what can be said about Auntie Nettie? The first thing that comes to my mind is thoughtfulness. You are the only person (besides my husband) that actually remembers my anniversary. AND you actually send me snail mail in honor of it!!

The second thing I think of is... no way are you 40. It just sounds so crazy. Because if you are 40, then I am right around the corner. And I am just not mature enough to be there yet.

It is hard to believe we have known each other since high school. You were my only artsy friend back then. Oh wait... you STILL are my only artsy friend. ;) I still have a little pin you made me with a horse on it that said good luck that I brought to my horse shows. It is sitting in my office with all my pics of Bruiser [Nicole's retired jumper].

My favorite memory of us is from sophomore year. We were sporting lovely 80's perms... and we were going to RUSSIA!!! There was a mismatch of boys and girls for rooming purposes and we were forced to [share a bath]room with two guys. Why? Because we were the most trustworthy of the group! I am still not sure if that was a good thing or not. ;) That was such an amazing trip. [I] drank WAY too much sugary tea and [we] ate WAY too little actual food.

I am so happy that we are still in touch even though we see way too little of each other. And it is totally my turn to come visit you! Although my suitcase is bigger than your place. I'm just sayin....

Love you lots! Have a wonderful birthday celebration!!!!

Nicole

Спасибо ("spa-see-ba") - Thank-You Nicolai my friend!

40 Diamonds for 40: Dan, my brother from another mother

Of all the Christmas letters I sent out with the request to participate in this little vanity project, this is the one I pondered about the most and wondered if I was doing the right thing. You see, this was the letter that I sent to the wife of my "old friend" Dan asking if she would be okay if he participated. I believe in making sure that the mate of your friends of the opposite sex are okay with you communicating with them, especially when there is "history."

When you get to this age, some of your friendships have multiple layers to them. Since this blog is part therapy/part historical record for the nieces and nephews, I thought it was important to try and get a cross section of all eras of my life to be represented. So far, family has chimed in, as well as friends from my high school, college, and work lives. But I've also had church friends, as well as friends that moved through different labels depending on our "status." This is the tale of my church friend, first boyfriend, and then first ex-boyfriend, and my "older brother," Dan.

I first met Danny, now known as Dan, at church when my family moved from Utah to Connecticut in 1980. His family too, had relocated from Utah, and our congregation was pretty small. It was inevitable that since we were within a few years of each other, our social spheres were going to overlap. We had Primary together, then youth activities, seminary, temple trips, etc. Basically, a bunch of us grew up together. We were "church friends" for many many years.

Our religion is very conservative, and there are definite guidelines about just about everything. Including dating: when to date, how to date, how to avoid getting into areas of temptation, etc. Being properly brought up, Dan waited for me to be old enough to date, and then was probably the best first boyfriend a girl, or her parents, could ever ask for. Out of respect for his wife, that's all I'm going to say about that period of our relationship.

Now, perhaps it was because we had been friends for so long, it was difficult for me to initiate the conversation that changed our status once again. But it ultimately was for the best. Dan continues to be a gentleman, as you'll see below, but it did take some time to circle back to being the fraternal platonic friends that we were and are.**

In another Mormon tradition, we exchanged letters while he was on his mission, but it was always as friends, with my "older brother" giving advice that I really should have followed more. But what sister completely, or ever, listens to her sibling?

Time has gone on. Dan met the lovely and generous MickiAnne, married, settled down, and has three children. Thanks to MickiAnne's approval there were occasional phone calls and e-mails, a brief visit when their two boys were really young, as well as her annual Christmas cards. Thanks to the latter, I am more aware than ever of the passage of time. Their eldest is now in high school! Their youngest, a daughter, is the age that I was when I moved to CT. How is it possible?

Intellectually, I know that time has passed. I sure as heck see it in the mirror everyday, but perhaps because I haven't seen him very often, when I read Dan's entry, I still see the high school boy who was my friend and still is one of my other brothers.

Thank you to MickiAnne and to Dan too. We're not old, just more "mature."

Says Dan: You might have turned 40 but I'm going to turn 43 and can't blog, stay away from Facebook and don't get me started on twitting. I sent my first text today. I will do my best. Here we go:

Little sis,

I have known [Auntie Nettie] since we were kids. I don't remember when her family moved in to the area and the ward (branch at the time).

I think we really started hanging out in 1987, my senior year of high school. We spent a lot of fun times going to her high school football games. I remember going to the games, a lot of rainy nights and getting wet. I had a lot of fun. Of course she wasn't 16 yet so we couldn't date, so I had to meet her there at the games, but we still had a lot of fun. After the season was over we didn't do a lot but church activities and somehow we started to like each other and after she turned 16 we could finally start dating. Of course we had to double date at first, friends from church and school. It wasn't until months later we could go out by ourselves. She went to senior prom with me; that was a big dress, southern-belle-type with a metal hoop***. Also who could forget my graduation party at the Four-H Club where we played tennis for hours? Didn't stop until after midnight. That was a lot of fun.

After school got out and the summer came there was youth conference. That was fun as well, but it was the start of the end as boyfriend and girlfriend. The nice thing was that when we broke up and said we should still be friends, we were. The relationship of dating just stopped and the relationship of just being friends took over. I think she is the only person I dated and then ended up being better friends after than before.

[She] became my little sister and I became her big brother. She is the oldest of three and I am the youngest of five. It was nice for her to have a big brother to talk to about things and it was nice for me to have a little sister to help and listen to. Since then we have kept in touch somewhat, have seen each other a couple times, Christmas cards and so on. Even though we don't talk or see each other a lot, I still feel like we are as good of friends as we have always been.

[Nettie] is very talented and one of the nicest people I know. Happy 40th, you old lady, and many more to come.

P.S. Every year you get older so do I!

{Auntie Nettie says: And if THAT isn’t a snarky older brother comment, I don’t know what is!}

** Also, in fair disclosure, this is the ONLY relationship I have had where I still am on good terms, or any terms, with my ex. I really think that being friends for so long really made the difference. Given my past dating history, I think I can fairly confidently say that I am better as a friend than as a girlfriend. Well, except for G-Dawg. We have a *very* "special" relationship status.

***Do you know how hard it is to find a dress that fits a curvy body type, that conforms with conservative dress standards, is affordable, is flattering, and is timeless? The 1980s were NOT good for hair or fashion styles for anyone. If you honestly thought I was dragging out prom photos, you are reading the wrong blog.

40 Diamonds for 40: Journeys with Mrs. Jenn

One of the perils of allowing photos to be part of this 40 Diamonds project was knowing that I was opening Pandora's box. It's one thing when it's family, it's a whole other thing when you have friendships going back more than 30 years.

One of the longest enduring friendships I have dates from middle school, one of my 27 Jennifers -- Ms. Jenny, once Jen, and now Jenn, MRS. Jenn. After all this time, we have been mistaken for sisters, which is almost true at this point. If you look on my phone, she's id'd as: Jenn, Practically Sister.

Our path to a pair of "besties" has ebbed and flowed. I first met one of our core group, Shannon, in third grade and we survived elementary school together -- paired as "advanced" students and we were off doing our own thing in a reading group of two, perusing materials from the middle school curriculum. Then we traveled up the hill to middle school, where we met Jenny. Jenny became Jen and then Jenn, and she, Shannon, and I had various classes and activities that overlapped, and for a time, it was really Jenn and Shannon that were the closest.

These are some of the earliest surviving shots of the trio circa middle school. (The 1980s were not kind in so many fashion areas!)

Our middle school trio expanded to a quartet in high school with the addition of Rachel. We ate together, lockered near each other, had overlapping classes and interests, had sleepovers, traveled to NYC on school trips and Trips by Mary (tm), watched Anne of Green Gables and swooned over Gilbert Blythe together, and even all played "hookey" all at the same time (thanks Mom!).

High School: Senior Photos and Yearbook Candids o' Nettie and Jenny

I perfected my guerrilla photography techniques in the halls of the high school. From banquets, to ambushes by the lockers, Jenn was in the action -- with Rachel (l) and Shannon (c and r).

Don't let Ms. Prim and Proper fool you. She'll flip you off when the flash hits too. The '80s were the perm years, for both of us, but by senior year the layers were growing out - to 'fro status.

Graduation led all of us in different directions, first to college, then to different states and coasts, and different life and career paths. Even with social media, e-mail, and cell phones, we've lost track of people. From two, to three and four, now we're back down to two. Whenever I head back to New England, a trip is not complete without visiting Jenn, in whatever home she's residing. Even though one childhood homestead is gone, I know I always have a place at the White House Inn B&B with Jenn and her family.

Speaking of trips: No mention of Jenn could be complete without mentioning all the trips to the Cape, starting with a graduation trip with Shannon, my mom and grandma -- leading to duo trips with just me and Jenn. From whale watching trips, to exploring P-town, to old piers, and winding our way up and down Route 6A to Mashpee and back, the Cape is where we need to go to retreat -- preferably sometime soon, after a 40th trip to Newport.

Thanks Mrs. Jenny from the W-Block!

Happy Birthday to Auntie Nettie! The big 4-0!

So folks, here is my "Nettie story"...

I met Auntie Nettie when we were in 6th grade in Mrs. Moore's reading class at Kramer Middle School. Who knew then that so many years later we would still be friends, and actually I am happy to report--Best Friends. We’ve survived middle school, high school and college and are now enjoying the "Real World," as they call it.

To an outsider looking at us, we do have very different lives: I am married and living in the suburbs with my family and Auntie Nettie is single and living in/near the City; however, we have a past that ties us together, a present that keeps us in weekly contact and a future that may include us rocking together on a front porch when we are in our eighties!

We’ve been through good and bad, happy and sad and I consider myself lucky to have a friend like Auntie Nettie. While we have spent many happy times together exploring the Cape, watching USA network shows and discussing our Ranger vs. Morelli theories, I also know that if I am having a bad day, week or even month that Auntie Nettie always has an ear to listen to my troubles and a shoulder to cry on.

One of my happiest days was when she stood up for me as my Maid of Honor at my 2002 wedding. (Of course, she called in Maid of Horror! That is Auntie Nettie for you!) Hopefully she will attach the pictures as proof!

So Happy Birthday Nettie, and here's to 40 more for us! Meet you on the porch!

Love,

Jenn

(Only for Jenn -- bridal shower photos and bridal shots)

Scraps of Memories: USSR Trip

Just a sampling of the souvenirs and scrapbook entries from my high school trip to the Soviet Union. On the way back we had a one-night layover stop in Stockholm, so some of the later entries are in Swedish and not in Russian.

Highlights included Moscow, Red Square, Lenin's Tomb, The Bolshoi, Leningrad, Zagorsk, cemeteries, The Hermitage, the cultural delights of everyday things like the subways, Pepsi products, conversations on the toilet "paper" (i.e. sandpaper), then to Stockholm, McDonald's, etc.

Even after all these years, I still have my Russian Scarf and my nesting doll, as well as a few pins, not pictured here.

My apologies to Nicolai for not warning her that her high school self might show up in some of these pictures. Sorry Nic.