You might be a redneck if ...

You keep an electric organ on your front porch.

Sadly, this was the sight that greeted me upon a relatively recent return to my old neighborhood. I'm not kidding. This lovely edifice is across the street from where I grew up. Plus, it turns out that this isn't the only thing that the neighbors keep, or keep doing, at this apartment building that is affecting local property values. (Think horticulture, distribution, and "entertainment".) Hopefully the market will improve so my parents can sell out and move out West.